


The Origins of Agent Nightshade

by save_the_skyfall



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted, Brainwashing, Bullying, I'm going to go through and gradually edit grammar mistakes, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, Multi, OC needs a hug, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, adopted oc, coulson is basically the dad, he has a soft spot for the oc, mature for later chapters, peggy is great with kids, so is fury, soccer dad coulson!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-17 18:13:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 38,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3539144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/save_the_skyfall/pseuds/save_the_skyfall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was never her fault. She didn't ask to be born into this unforgiving world, but sometimes mistakes happen. Jenavieve (Jay) Winters escaped her abusive adoptive parents only to be found in the middle of the street by Coulson. As Jay grows life proves to still be dragging her down constantly by any means necessary. She gets taken into a new system and traded between others. They know she is vital and versatile. Lives get torn and memories are burned in forever and others turn to dust. Will she ever reach a point of consistent peace in her life or will she always be in the cross-hairs?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unfortunate Beginnings For Such a Sweet One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so quick disclaimer. This does hold sensitive material such as abuse, torture, implied suicide, etc... Also since I did start writing this over a year ago my writing style has changed a considerable amount. In the beginning I guess I was trying to sound mature and sophisticated so it may sound odd (especially the last sentences of the chapters.) Towards the middle it becomes more relaxed and like I am not trying so hard to sound educated. Now my writing style resembles that of chapter 24 (more closely than any other chapter I think.) I am sorry for the weird writing style through out but I tried my hardest. Anyways, if you ever have any comments, concerns, or ideas please feel free to let me know! I am always looking for ways to improve!

(December 17, 1984, 7:52 p.m. New York City)

 

It was never her fault. She didn't ask to be born into this unforgiving world, but sometimes mistakes happen. The doctors that were working their shifts that night will tell you that it was the coldest time in history. That Jack Frost himself was not capable of such wickedness. What they will also tell you is that they remember screams pouring out of a certain room. A woman, with a name and face they cannot remember, was giving birth. Something they do remember about the woman is that there was no father and that she may as well have been no mother herself. The second she became pregnant and told her love, he left her, and for that she cursed at the small life inside her. How could she love the thing that cost her the love of her life? She couldn't. For seven months she swore never to love the child, and once the baby was born she stared at it with a chill colder than the night itself.

"It's a girl, five pounds and two ounces!" Announced the doctor to his nurse over in the corner scribbling the information down with a small smile. Even when the girl was born she never cried, for then she did not have enough air in her lungs. She was born two months early which was far too soon if you ask the nurse.  
"You're lucky to be alive little one," the doctor coos with fondness , "you were so eager to see the world weren't you?" The baby blinks her sleepy eyes at the doctor who has now turned to the woman laying in bed. "Congratulations, Ms. What name have you chosen for her?"

"I haven't." She responded, her voice laced with disgust.

The nurse and doctor glanced at each other, "Would you like to hold your daughter?" The doctor questioned smiling down at the child resting in his arms.

"I have no daughter. That thing ruined my life! Why would I ever want to name it or let alone hold it?" The woman spat. The room fell cold and silent except for the buzzing of the machines. "Get that thing away from me." She growled, her eyes throwing daggers at everyone in the room.

The doctors eyes widened with an acute horror, "Lana," he cleared his throat for the nurse, "take her to the nursery. Make sure to put her in the incubator. She is not strong enough to produce the body heat on her own."

Nurse Lana crosses to him and lifts the child out of his arms, "Yes, Dr. Munoz." She exits into the hall so that the sleeping baby would not be woken by such hatred. "I'm sorry, sweet one." She sighs and enters the nursery. "No child, especially one so sweet, should have to endure someone like that. Sweet dreams." Nurse Lana whispers while placing the infant in the incubator.

The doctor was right. She was not strong enough to emit her own heat, nor was her heart strong enough to continue to beat, or her lungs to give her gentle breaths. Yet, maybe by chance or by miracle she lived through the coldest night. And there is nothing more terrifying than a miracle.


	2. Bunnies and Great Escapes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Continues with the back story of the character)

(December 2, 1987. In a house just outside Washington D.C)

After that night the baby girl with no name was put up for adoption. Nurse Lana had wanted to adopt the small one herself, unfortunately luck was not favoring the child. She had been taken to the Blare home. A home which lacked love and warmth, something that babies bring with them into the world; however, this home did not welcome such attributes. It is unfortunate to say that for the first three years of the girl's life she was neglected by her adoptive parents. They never picked her up or soothed her tummy aches. She remained with no name besides 'girl', 'worthless', and 'mistake'. Only once had she ever been to the doctor and that was merely due to Mr. Blare being afraid of 'it' getting small pox and killing them all. The girl was left in her diapers for far too long and nearly drowned four times in the bathtub by the age of two. It looks as if her biological mother's wish for a life time of unhappiness was bestowed upon the child.

The little girl, dressed in her faded pink and purple floral pajamas, comes bouncing down the stairs with her favorite stuffed yellow bunny. The toddler was much too small for her age but held a unique beauty. Her eyes resembled two bright aquamarine gems tainted with gold and jade flakes. Small pink lips tugged into a smile graced her face. And, due to her poor immune system, she always had to wear socks and her choice of the day were her fuzziest light green ones.

"Momma?" The burgundy-brown haired child tugs at Mrs. Blare's shirt with her free hand.

"What," she cringes at the title.

"It's snowing!" Her small eyes bulge with the excitement of winter's gift.

"Well aren't you a smart one." Mr. Blare scoffs from the kitchen table.

The small girl looks unfazed, "Momma, can we go play outside?" She points towards the back door.

"I am not your mother!" The woman slams the dish she was washing on the sink startling the child. "Stop calling me that." Mrs. Blare demands, glaring at the child.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," the girl's voice hushed and wavering.

"You're always sorry. Well sorry doesn't give us our lives back, now does it?" Mr. Blare retorts.

The girl lowers her head and cradles her bunny, "I just thought we could-". The little girl got cut off by Mr. Blare slamming his fist on the table, "Enough! Go to your room and don't come down for the rest of the day."

She leaves the kitchen and starts upstairs to her room just as instructed. This sentence was not new to her and neither was the feeling of going to bed with an empty stomach. The feeling she could never get used to was Mr. Blare's hand striking her even though she did nothing wrong. Which she luckily avoided today. She crawls into her small day bed and curls up under the tattered blankets provided to her. Small beads of tears stream down her gaunt, rosy cheeks. Contrary to the Blares' beliefs that she was a dumb child that couldn't comprehend even the simplest of things, she is quite the opposite. Even though the girl is just shy of turning four she is quite intelligent for her age. After countless hours spent in her bleak bedroom she had taught herself to read the simple books given to her by the neighbors. From these books she also learned about far away lands with courageous knights and fierce dragons. She would often wonder to herself, "Why are there no girl knights? Why can't the boys be the ones trapped in a castle," but the saddest and most common question is, "Why won't anyone rescue me?"

Once the sun had began to set the little girl pokes her head out from under her covers and wipes away the tears with her sleeve. Her ears perked up at the unfamiliar sound of laughing coming from outside her window. She runs to the fog covered glass and wipes it clean to see the Richards family, the neighbors that gave her the books, playing in the snow. She can only remember meeting them once before, but she often sees them from her window and they always looked happy. The child sighs and goes back to her bed and cradles her bunny, "It's okay Bonnie. One day we will have a family that loves us and then we can play in the snow all day long and laugh as loud as we want. One day we will be happy too. I promise." She whispers to her stuffed animal.

The room fills with silence, a noise that she can never decide whether it's good or bad. Her eyes glance around until her gaze fixes its self on a certain book. A gentle smile appears on her face as she thinks about the tale and how it is her favorite, because in this particular story the princess saves herself. One day the imprisoned princess decides to escape the horrible tower and by doing so she became happy. The little girl sits there lost in her own thoughts until a light bulb flicks on inside her. "Bonnie. We are going to do that. We are going to escape just like the princess. Tonight once they go to sleep we are finally leaving." The girl lays back down knowing that the Blares would soon check and make sure she was in her room and once they were asleep, she was leaving.

The door to the girl's bedroom creaks open, "Is the worthless brat asleep?" Mr. Blare questions his wife as she steps inside. She responds with a quick nod and leaves the room when she sees the girl 'sleeping' in her bed. The girl knows that it is still too soon to try and escape her tower so she waits just a while longer.

The moon was high above the sky as the child creeps out of bed and begins to fill her small backpack full with a few pairs of clothes and her two favorite books. Fully aware that it is cold outside, she makes sure to put on an extra pair of super fuzzy socks and her small boots to keep warm. After checking everything twice, putting on her red coat, grey beanie, and saying a small prayer she begins to open her bedroom door. By now the small girl has memorized the time of night that the Blares are fast asleep along with which floor boards and stair steps creak. She guesses to herself that it's from having to use the restroom every night and is thanking her bathroom routine, because it shows to be working to her advantage. Skillfully, she makes her way to the front door and stops. The thought of leaving and being caught is terrifying to the child but she also knows that she cannot stand stay here a night longer.

"Ready, Bonnie?" She barely even whispers to her trusty best friend. Holding her breath she unlocks the door and turns the handle. Her heart felt as if it was going to leap from her chest and make a run for itself.

"Now or never," she murmurs. Quicker and quieter than any child has ever been she cracks the door open and shuffles out onto the porch. Not a second after she noiselessly closes the door she dashes through the snowy yard and out on to the street. Before she can even make it three houses down the little girl trips and falls. She struggles to get up but her lungs won't let her just yet. She has found herself caught in a fit of hyperventilating and can't for the life of her get up. She wants to scream and cry for help, especially when she sees the headlights of a car start right towards her.


	3. A Knight In a Shining Car and Handkerchief Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Back story will continue for numerous chapters, sorry)

(Just before she fell in the street)

"Yes, sir... I know that... Well I am on my way there but it is going to take a little longer than usual... There was this huge wreck that backed up the whole highway so I am having to detour through some neighborhoods just out side of the city. I will..." The man hung up his phone aggravated. "Fury just won't give me a break will he?" The man glances to the dashboard for the time that reads 1:49 a.m., "I do not get paid enough for this." He sighs and continues down the road.

The little girl sees the car's lights and begins to level her breathing by focusing on it. Her instincts tell her that if she stops panicking she has a better chance of being able to move out of the street.

"What in the-," the man strains his eyes through the windshield of his black SUV. At first it just looks like a red fire hydrant that is until it started to move of course. The man brings the car to a stop and steps out trying to get a better look at whatever the hell is in the middle of the street. Once his eyes adjust to the contrast of night and his headlights he realizes just what that red dot is. It's a little girl desperately trying to move to get his attention. Without a second thought he sprints over and bends down besides her, "Are you okay?" His voice with slight bewilderment and concern. "No," the small girl manages to squeak out.

"Come on." He gathers her up into his arms and runs back to the warmth of his car. The man makes sure he placed the girl down in the passenger seat before closing the driver's side door. He then turns to look at the snow peppered little girl sitting in his passenger seat. "Why were you out in the middle of the street at this time of night?" His voice came out a bit too loud causing the girl to jump.

The girl is quiet for a moment until she softly whispers her answer, "I was running away." She almost seems ashamed of her answer.

The man furrows his eyebrows and stares in shock, "What? Why are you running away?" He turns in his seat to completely face the child.

"The Blares don't love me," she clings on to her small bunny companion.

"Who are the Blares?" While waiting for her answer he begins to think to himself, 'Why would a kid run away if her neighbors don't love her?'

"The people who adopted me." She sniffs and wipes her nose with her sleeve.

The man hands her the white handkerchief folded neatly in his suite pocket, "And why do you think that they don't love you?" He asks, his voice more gentle this time.

The car fell into a suspenseful silence as he waits for the quite girl to speak.

"They hit me. A lot. They also," the little girl strains her voice in an attempt not to cry, "call me worthless and a mistake. They say that they wish they would have never gotten me. They yell at me and say that I'm nothing." She wipes her eyes with the soft handkerchief and grows noiseless again.

The man finds himself at a loss of words. He begins to form sentences in his head but none of them sound right. His thoughts are soon interrupted by the nearly inaudible voice beside him, "Please don't make me go back," she turns to look at him. Her face streaked with tears and eyes filled with pain no child should know, "Please." She pleas to him.

His eyes search her over and find that she is in a torn coat that is too small for her already shrunken frame, her pajamas faded and worn, and that she seemed frightened and exhausted. "I won't make you go back. Just tell me your name." He reaches out and places his hand on her shoulder.

The girl's expression changes to embarrassment as he waits, "I don't have one."

The mans mouth goes slightly agape. 'No name how could she have no name?' he questions himself. "Well," he clears his throat, "my name is Phil Coulson."

The little girl covers her mouth hiding her growing smile.

He looks at her quizzically with a smile of his own, "What?"

The small girl looks at him and begins to giggle.

"Young lady. I demand that you tell me what it is you are laughing at immediately." He teased.

Her delicate frame is now shaking with laughter and her face enveloped by silliness, "You have a funny name." Laughing, tears pour out of her eyes accompanied by the most jubilant laugh he had ever heard.

He joins in the gut busting giggle fit that soon fades away to just a cheek tiring grin, "Okay little Miss Giggle Fits. Back seat and buckle up."

"Where are we going?" Giddy, she climbs into the back and fastens her seat-belt.

"To find your name." He smiles into the rear-view mirror before starting along the road again.

She beams at the thought of having a name. "You hear that Bonnie? My own name," she mumbled into her stuffed bunny. Gazing sleepily out the window she blinks away the sight of that villainous house just one last time.


	4. Checkups, Truths, and First Names

(December 3, 1987, S.H.I.E.L.D Headquarters, Washington D.C.)

 

Soon the little girl is fast asleep in the back seat of Coulson's car. He can't help but look in the rear-view mirror and think 'Why would any one want to hurt a child? Especially one so sweet?' Phil doesn't even want to imagine how Fury is going to react due to his tardiness. "At least I have a good reason to be this late." He tiredly sighs to himself and pulls into a vacant spot at the S.H.I.E.L.D staff parking garage.

"Alright kiddo. Time to wake up." Coulson quietly calls to the girl as he climbs out the driver's side.

She sits up rubbing her sleepy eyes, "Where are we?" Her voice matches how he feels.

"We are at my headquarters. You see, I was on my way here when I found you in the street." Coulson explains as he unbuckles the seat-belt for her. Earlier in the street he didn't even notice how light and tiny she is. To him it was almost as if he was lifting a heavy bag of groceries.  
He makes quick work of weaving in and out of the huge building, all while getting quizzical stares from his co-workers due to the small girl sleeping on his shoulder. "Man, Fury is going to be ticked." Phil thinks aloud after checking the watch on his right wrist. Coming upon the meeting room that he was supposed to be in over an hour ago, he can already hear the impatient voice of Director Nick Fury.

"Where the hell have you been, Coulson?" Fury booms not a moment after Phil opens the large glass door.

"Lovely to see you too, Fury." Coulson smirks knowing that Nick will soon forgive his late arrival.

"Um, Coulson? Who is that?" Agent Carter points to the waking girl in his arms.

After hearing Peggy's question, Fury turns away from the board scattered with various coordinates and intel to see who 'that' is. The last thing he expected to see was this petite girl placed in his best agent's arms.  
The girl blinks a few times, her eyes adjusting to the bright florescent lighting, before letting out a yawn bigger than her. She turns her head to the direction of the new voices and is greeted by an older but healthy woman and a large man she would describe as a 'pirate spy'.  
"This is the reason why I am late." Coulson shifts her to his right hip.  
A sight that made Agent Carter release an internal laugh and have to refrain from addressing him as 'soccer mom'. "Nice to meet you 'reason why I am late'. I can honestly say I have never heard such an interesting name before." Peggy smiles at her own dad joke.

The girl looks from Coulson to the woman and gives a tiny wave followed by an equally tiny, "Hi."

"Fury I would like to request that this young lady have a doctor checkup on her immediately." Coulson stands there still looking like a 100% done soccer mom and Peggy is still thinking of all the nicknames he will have after this.

"Uh, yes, of course." Nick is hesitant, "Follow me to the med wing. I still need to talk to you about..." His words trail off when he motions to the board he was originally stationed at. The now wide-eyed Nick Fury leads Coulson and Peggy through hall ways the girl would describe as 'too long'.  
The small girl stares at the man in the trench coat as he opens the sliding doors with a retina scan. "Wow." Her tone astonished but hushed making the three adults, even Fury, smile to themselves.

The med wing is not its usual hustling and bustling self, but then again it is also 3 a.m. on a Thursday. There are Nurses scattered throughout the halls observing charts, talking to one another, and downing their umpteenth cup of coffee. A particular snow-white haired man comes out from behind the nursing station and up to them.

"Director Fury, Agent Coulson, Agent Carter how are you all this morning?" His voice makes the tiny child giggle. "Well hello to you too, lass." The Scottish accent reminds her of the deli man she had met at the grocery store just a few weeks prior.

"Dr. Barrie, would it be too much to ask of you to give this little one a checkup?" Coulson asks kindly brushing the hair out of the girls eyes.

"Of course not." The man turns his attention to the girl, "How about you fallow me to our check up room just right over there?" He points to the spacious room on the girl's left.

She turns to Coulson who gives her a warm smile and places her on the ground so she could follow the doctor.  
"I will be right out here when you are finished." Phil calls to the girl before turning to Fury.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

"Alright, dear. Could you step up on to the scale for me?" Dr. Barrie asks the child as he grabs a blank chart from the counter top.

"Sure!" The little girl responds causing Dr. Barrie to let out a lighthearted laugh, "Well thank you, lass. You are quite the cooperative patient, aren't you?" He moves the pieces around on the scale before scribbling on the chart and pointing to the height markers on the wall.  
"Now lets see how tall the pretty flower is, shall we."

The girl spouts out a stream of silly snickers, "I'm not a flower!" Her smile is contagious to the doctor.

He nods his head and shares the laugh, "Well I guess you are right. Much too tall to be a flower," continuing to record the stats of the child. "Now miss, will you go over there and sit up on the examining bench for me?"

"Yup." She skips over to the set of steps and pulls herself and Bonnie up on to the cushy bench. She picks at the crinkling paper underneath her, "Why is this covered in paper?" She tilts her head to the side resembling a puppy.

"I need to keep the bench clean for every patient of mine." Dr. Barrie answers simply as he rolls his wheeled stool over to her. "Tell me lass, what is your name?"

The girl shrugs, "I don't know." Her voice grows timid.

Dr. Barrie furrows his eyebrows, "What do you mean you don't know. It's your name!" He lightly pokes the girl's knee with his pen.

A bright pink blush dusts the girl's face as she feels her skin burn with embarrassment, "I don't have one." The noise is almost too faint to hear.  
The doctor's expression as well as his demeanor slides into sympathy, "Hey, there is no need to be embarrassed, dear. How about we find you a name?" He carefully offers.  
The girl quickly lifts her head and nods vigorously with excitement.

"Okay then. Tell you what, if you let me finish the checkup, we can go get your name. Sound fair?" He bops the toddler on the nose with his pen.

"Yes, sir Dr. Barrie," the child chimes in delight.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

"Coulson we need to have another shot at this mission. There's a possibility that he's still out there or so we believe. If we over shoot the predicted coordinates even by a few feet that would mean not finding him." Fury's tone makes it clear that there is no room for error.

"Sir, I know that. It's just that I cannot let that girl fall back into her adoptive parents- the Blares' hands." Phil quickly glances over to the checkup room and sees Dr. Barrie testing the girl's eye sight.

"Coulson we need you on this mission. Also, how do you know that the girl isn't lying? She could have just run away because-"

Phil is quick to cut off Fury, "She is not lying," his face stern and lips pressed in a thin line. "Nick, you should have seen the look in her eyes when she begged me not to take her back. This child was- abused in that home and I'll be damned if I let her face that again." Even for only having known the girl for such a short time he can't help but feel an overwhelming protectiveness of the child and he is making that clear.

Nick studies the emotion in his friend's eyes and sighs. "Phil, if you don't have custody of the child this will be considered kidnapping. This right here," he motions from the checkup room to Coulson several times, "is illegal."

"Oh don't even act like you haven't done anything illegal before." Coulson scoffs.

Fury pinches the bridge of his nose and squeezes his good eye shut, "How in the hell do you expect us to get the adoption papers, Phil? This girl doesn't even have a name."

"Actually," Peggy interjects as she makes her way over with a manila file in hand, "she does have a name. It's only a first name, but it's something." she extends the file to Phil. "Her name is Jenavieve with a j, and she is turning four this 17th might I add. Her mother's record was lost in an electrical fire back at St. Luke's hospital in New York City. I checked into it and it looks like whoever her mother was didn't want to be."

"Why would a mother who wants nothing to do with a child name it?" Fury raises an eyebrow at Carter.

"The mother didn't and neither did the Blares, the nurse that helped deliver her did. It says that the nurse, Lana, was going to adopt Jay but was beaten to the punch by the bloody bastards who claim to have adopted her." Peggy sips at her steaming coffee.

"Claimed?" Coulson looks up from the file, "How do you claim to adopt?"

"Well for starters the 'agency' they went through doesn't even exist. It's actually shocking that the attorney didn't catch that in the first place. Due to the agency being, well, not a real agency the papers that the Blares faked are practically just that. Papers. Secondly, since they are the ones that made up and forged the adoption papers, they could be looking at a rather lengthy sentence for fraud, kidnapping, etc... Jay never stopped being a ward of the state and is technically still up for adoption." She nods making it all sound so simple.

"Nicely done, you never lost your perfect touch did you, Miss Carter?"

"I suppose not, director." She smirks as she hands a post-it note with a phone number on it over to Coulson.

"How did you get all this information? I mean over half of what you said isn't even in the file." Coulson shuffles through the two-paged file again, double checking to make sure he didn't skip over anything.

"Oh, I talked to the Blares over the phone. You see, all I had to do was call the number listed on the adoption papers. I swear some people are just so bloody stupid. It was a five minuet phone call consisting of me pretending to be a judge that stumbled across the file, did some research, and found out that it was all a lie and that if they didn't tell me the truth I would throw them in jail. I could have told them that I was the queen and the heathens would have bought it. They agreed to fax the information to social services in the morning allowing her to be put back up for adoption." Peggy grins to herself at the thought of having Jay around.

"Coulson!" Jay exclaims once exiting the checkup room.

"Hey kiddo. What do you have there?" He points at the new addition to her coat.

"Dr. Barrie gave me a sticker! Look it has dinosaurs on it," she points proudly at her new sticker.

"Did you tell Dr. Barrie thank you?"

"She sure did," the doctor pats Jay's head. "Coulson may I have a word with you. It will just be a moment."

"Of course." Coulson complies and follows the doctor back into the checkup room.

"The girl is quite a bundle of joy and a polite one at that." Dr. Barrie gives a lighthearted chuckle as he collects her file.

"Jenavieve."

"Bless you." The doctor chuckles again turning to face Phil.

"No," he continued, "her name. Agent Carter found it. It's Jenavieve with a j." His manner is polite in correcting Dr. Barrie.

"Oh, well that is an interesting name of choice," the doctor clears his throat. "Phil, it doesn't take a keen eye to see that she is small for her age. You see, the average three to four year old should weigh around 31 to 34 pounds and their height range should be close to 37 or 39 inches. However, Miss. Jena is 24 pounds and 32 inches tall that's roughly the size of a 20 month old toddler. On top of that, when I was giving her a breathing test I noticed the pattern was resembling one with asthma. Now of course she will grow but I am not sure at what rate. She could sprout up like flower or might continue to be a late bloomer. What I am sure of is that she is a bright child that will aspire to do great things in the future." Dr. Barrie extends Jenavieve's chart to Coulson.

Coulson was preoccupied by looking out the small window of the door at Jay, "I think I'm going to adopt her."

"I think that would be a good idea. You if anyone would know how to properly raise a child, even though you don't have any of your own. I went ahead and wrote down the prescription for her inhaler. The pharmacy should have it ready for you by tomorrow. Or just later today, I guess." Dr. Barrie dangles the slip of paper in front of Coulson's face causing him to focus once again.

"Thank you again, Johnathan." Phil takes the paper and exchanges a hand shake.

They soon exit the room to rejoin the others who seem to be deep in conversation. Once getting closer, the doctor and Coulson are able to make out what Peggy and Jenavieve are saying.  
"See! I knew girls could save themselves with out any boys' help." Jenavieve throws her arms high in the air causing Fury and Peggy to laugh.  
"Jay, you and I are going to get along just fine." Peggy offers a warm smile.  
"I think she might be a miniature you, Mrs. Carter." Nick gives a little nudge and an approving grin to Jenavieve.  
"Then I guess her and I will really get along then."

"Jenavieve, are you ready to go?" Coulson taps her small shoulder.

"She actually likes to go by Jay more so than Jenavieve." Peggy interjects.  
"Well, Jay are you ready to go?" He questions again.

"Do we have to?" Jay whines.  
"Yeah Coulson, do we have to?" Fury mimics her tone.  
"I'm afraid so kiddo. I can't have you getting too tired now can I?" Phil lifts her up resuming soccer mom position.  
"But I'm not even tired," she protests while rubbing her eyes.

"Oh really?" Peggy raises an eyebrow at the girl.

"Maybe just a little bit." Jay yawns and proceeds to rest her head on Coulson's shoulder. She tried to fight her sleepy state but soon slipped into sleep as the adults bide their goodbyes. During the long walk back to the car she finds herself dreaming of what this new life will hold for her. Hoping that it will all be kind to her. Oh if only it was.


	5. He is Definitely a Pirate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coulson and Jay quickly rush in through the front door of Peggy Carters home. Jay has been living with Coulson ever since he got the adoption papers finalized on the fourth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. I felt like I needed to hint at what the mission was and to reveal just a bit more before proceeding and making Jay somewhat older.

(December 10, 1987, home of Peggy Carter in Washington D.C.)

"It is cold out there!" Jay shivers and shuffles in with Coulson trailing behind.

"You said it, kiddo." Phil pats her snow dotted hat and then gives Peggy a hug. "Thank you for doing this again."  
She pats him on the shoulder and watches Jay skip into the living room with Bonnie the bunny on her shoulders. "Oh it is my pleasure, dear. It is the least I could do since you are going again to go look for-"  
"He will turn up Peggy. I am sure of it." Phil gently comforts her.  
She gives him an unsure smile, "I'm sure you're right." She blinks away the tears before they have a chance to fall. The two adults fall into a moment of stillness both lost in there own thoughts.

Jay comes running up to them shaking them of their daze, "Coulson when will you be back?" She hugs his legs and looks up at him with what he has realized is her puppy eyes.  
"Shouldn't be any longer than two days at most." He hoists her up into his arms and wraps her in a warm embrace. "Meanwhile, while I am working you will be having fun with Mrs. Peggy."  
"That's right. We will have a great time!" Peggy's smile seems to light the room causing Jay to do the same.

The front door opens again only for Fury to shimmy in, "Coulson, the car will freeze in place if you take any longer. Do I have to remind you that we are on a tight schedule?" He halfheartedly scolds. 

"I was just finishing up my goodbyes. No need to be impatient." Coulson hands Jay over to Peggy.  
"I beg your pardon?" Fury widens his good eye.  
"I just mean that the ship will still be there. It's not leaving without us." Phil sighs and passes Jay's inhaler to Peggy labeled 'just in case'. 

"You have a ship!" Jay exclaims to Fury.  
"Well a quinjet but yes." He nods, shaking the extra snow off of his coat. "Coulson lets go." Nick demands one more time before patting Jay on the head and rushing back out to the car.

"See you in two days, kiddo." Coulson presses a kiss to Jay's forehead. "Thank you so much again Peggy," he waves at the two of them and rushes out into the cold once more.

Peggy sets down Jay and walks over to the large living room window to see them off.  
"I told you he was a pirate." Jay simply smiles and waves out the window to the disappearing back end of the black SUV.  
Peggy lets out a fond laugh, "How about we go get some hot chocolate, hm?"  
"That sounds really good!" Jay nods repeatedly and follows her into the kitchen.

The two of them share boisterous laughs and silly jokes throughout the rest of the evening. After a delicious meal and a heroic bedtime story, Jay was soon fast asleep with her head resting in Peggy's lap. "Sweet dreams, darling." She smooth's the girl's hair and gently lulls her to sleep. 

Both perfectly cozy inside the warm house, safe from the bitter cold. This moment would soon become a memory for the pair. One of which that will still sooth Jay and be a reminder of safety when the cold seems to be too much.


	6. The First Day of School Isn't All It's Cracked Up to Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be one or two more chapters related to school before what really shapes her comes in. Sorry again if it is horrible and I hope you enjoy. If you have any tips or comments of advice it would be appreciated.

(August 28, 1989, at the house of Coulson and Jay)

 

Coulson is shuffling around the kitchen packing various treats into Jay's pink and green lunch box for her first day of school. "Alright, kiddo. It's time to go. Do you have everything?" He turns around to hand Jay her lunch.  
"Yep," she swings her feet back and forth underneath her bar stool.  
"Pencils?"  
"Yep."  
"Crayons?"  
"Yes."  
"Paper?"  
"Yup."  
"Lunch?"  
"Mhmm." Jay responds each time with a head nod.  
Phil scans the kitchen and living room one more time making sure nothing would be left behind. "Inhaler?" He begins to spin around looking for it then realizes Jay is giggling rather loudly. "What's so funny, missy?"  
"It's in your pocket." She points to his suit, her little arm shaking from laughter.  
He pats his suit until he feels it in his right pocket and smiles at her. "Okay, time to get on the move." Phil grabs his keys from the kitchen island. Jay follows by hopping of the bar stool, ever so gracefully, and running after him into the garage.

"I will drive you the first day, but then you can walk with this group of kids for the rest of the time if you would like." Coulson opens the door for Jay to slide in the back seat.  
"Okay," she smiles sweetly. Once she is buckled in, she begins to smooth out her sky blue sun dress and adjust her matching headband.  
"Do those shoes fit well?" Coulson starts the engine and presses the remote button to open the garage door.  
"Yes, sir." She responds with clicking the heels of her new white flowered sandals.  
"Good deal," he nods with approval.

The whole ride there is filled with more questions of 'Do you have this' and 'What about this'. If you told Coulson to be honest about how he felt on her first day of school he would respond with a laugh and, "Paranoid."

Jay has not grown to the size of a five year old, which is around 40 pounds and 43 inches tall. Instead, Jay is the size of a small four year old coming in at a grand total of 33 pounds and 38 inches tall.  
The past two years have been good for both Coulson and Jay. They have grown extremely close and understanding of each other. She finally has someone to soothe her tummy aches and give her cold rags when she has a fever, and Jay couldn't be anymore thankful. They were truly like father and daughter. 

Over time the girl had also become extremely close to Fury and Peggy, both of whom love her dearly. Jay views Fury as the 'super cool' uncle figure who eventually caved in and admitted to being a pirate. As for Peggy, Jay views her as both a mother and grandmother figure. She is also fully aware that when Coulson signed the adoption papers he listed Peggy as her godmother. However, she is far from the boring, over protective godmother. No, she is the kind that will bake cookies with you one minuet and the next she will be letting you watch her target practice at the headquarter's gun range.

Before long they have pulled up to Jay's elementary and have climbed out of the car. "Alright Jay, look at me." Coulson squats down in front of her, "What do you say when the teacher asks you why you last name is Winters instead of Coulson?"  
"You let me pick my last name." Jay smiles, still very pleased with her choice.  
"Perfect," he wraps her in a hug, "now go have a great day. I will be here at 2:45 to pick you up, okay?"  
"Okay," she returns the hug with equal warmth.  
"I love you, kiddo." Coulson presses a kiss to her small forehead.  
"Love you too, Coulson."  
Coulson looks up and sees all the kids start towards the teachers lined up outside. "You see the teacher in the red button down and gray hair?" He points into the crowd of people and Jay responds with a nod. "That is your teacher Mrs. Harper. I have met her before and she is a nice lady. Now go on don't be late on your first day." He gently nudged Jay towards the school. She makes her way through the group of considerably taller children until she is standing right beside Mrs. Harper. Phil waves once more to Jay before climbing in the SUV and heading off to work. 

A small wave of fear washes over the child. All the loud kids, the excessive number of them, and the tight space makes her quicken her breathing. As she is reaching for her inhaler in her backpack's side pocket she is called out of her panic by a sweet sounding voice. "So you must be Jenavieve, Phil Coulson's daughter." Mrs. Harper smiles down to her. Jay gives a small nod and a silent 'yes'. "Well I am your teacher Mrs. Harper and I hope we have a lot of fun this year. You can go ahead and follow me and the rest of the class to our room." 

Jay does as told and follows her teacher back to the classroom. The desks were all fixed into groups of four with five groups total.  
"Alright everyone. You can go find the desk with your name on it and we can get started with knowing one another!" The woman claps her hands together.

All the kids scramble around the room and begin to sit in there assigned seats. Jay makes her way to the group in the middle seeing as that was were her name card was placed. Not a second after she is seated a loud mouthed boy with bleach blonde hair begins to ask questions. "Why are you so small? You shouldn't be in here. Shouldn't you be in the baby room with all the other babies?"  
Jay's face radiates with embarrassment and she ducks her head down so no one could see but it was too late.  
"Oh no the baby is going to cry." The blonde boy begins to mimic a crying motion with his hands. This causes the whole class to throw back their heads in laughter.  
"Randall! That is enough. Everyone will be nice to each other, is that understood?" Mrs. Harper eyes the whole class in Jay's defense.  
All Jay can do is sink lower in her seat and think to herself, "I hate school already."

The rest of the day wasn't much better for Jay. She had gotten left out of the games in class because she was too small. When it came to be lunch time she had gotten shoved out of line by some third grader named Caroline and eventually ended up spending the whole lunch period by the window next to the bathrooms. There was one of two things the kids did: 1) didn't talk to her at all, or, 2) were extremely rude if they did acknowledge her. Ever since Randall made fun of her that morning her eyes had been stinging with tears but as always she refused to cry in front of others. The one thing she did all day, besides avoid people, was pray for 2:45.

The instant that the last bell rang, Jay practically launched herself at the door. She managed to stay ahead of the crowd, too anxious to be there a moment longer. Just as promised Coulson was parked in the car rider line just out front.  
"How was the first day?" He smiles widely at her.  
She can see how excited he was about her first day and how he wanted to hear all about it. Jay also knew that if she told him how everyone had treated her, he would be crushed.  
"It was good. Mrs. Harper is very nice. Just like you said." Jay fakes a smile and meets his expectant eyes in the rear-view mirror.  
"I am glad to hear that it was good. Now how about we go eat dinner at Mrs. Peggy's house. Her and Fury are waiting to hear all about it." Coulson begins to pull away from the school and start down the road.  
"Sounds good," she mummers with her head against the window. 

That night she had to lie through her teeth to all three adults at once, which she didn't feel too proud of. She didn't know how long she could keep up the charade but she knew that she liked it when they were happy. If them being happy meant her having to go to that damn place every day, miserable, and then coming home only to lie. She would tell a thousand lies for them. And she delivers on that even beyond the school yard days.


	7. Bricks and Breaking Points

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of this chapter is a catch up/ flash back. So sorry. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy.

(October 11, 1990)

Some chance or strength was inside Jay to get her through Kindergarten in one piece, without the adults ever finding out. That did not mean the kids went easier on her, no, if anything they got worse as time passed. They would shove her around, call her names (just like the Blares used to), and tease her relentlessly. One kid in her class even cut off a wad of her hair, so when she went home she lied and said that she got chewing gum stuck in it. One of the worst things they would do would be when they acted nice. Like they had learned their lesson and decided to 'apologize' and become 'friends' with her. It only took one time for her to realize what they were doing so she never truly got her hopes up and fell for it. During recess, Jay would just sit under a tree or in the small garden where she was out of sight and could contently read by herself. 

However, her 'happy school' charade was almost completely ruined one day. That boy Randall had found out that Jay had asthma and convinced all his friends to play a prank on her. That day at recess he had managed to get Jay to join him in a race from the swing set to the slides.  
"It's only about 30 yards. You can do this." Jay prepped herself at the starting line.  
"On your mark, get set, go!" The redheaded flag boy named Gus waved a large stick in the air signaling the start.

Both Jay and Randall took off in a flash. She may have been small and accompanied by a low stamina, but she was fast. But, much to her misfortune pollen was in the air blocking her sinus ways and on top of that the wind was blowing a tremendous amount of dirt in her face. Jay could feel her lungs not being able to keep up with her legs but she didn't care. She needed to prove to all of them that she wasn't a puny, worthless baby.

Just as she planned she reached the slides first causing everyone to mummer amongst themselves. The thing she didn't plan on was the feeling of a boa constrictor around her throat. The first ever feeling that she was going to die. Jay dropped to her hands and knees, gasping for any air she could salvage. 

At first all the kids laughed and pointed even though she had won the race. Soon the laughs stopped and were replaced by looks of fear and confusion. Right before their eyes Jay was having her worse asthma attack yet causing her to choke on what little air she could manage to breath in.

"What is going on over there?" One of the P.E. coaches, Mr. Elliot, yelled to the group that now consisted of every kid on the play ground.  
Almost as if a gun shot rang out all the kids scattered out hoping they wouldn't get punished.  
"Oh my G-" Mr. Elliot cut himself short and sprinted over to the crippled Jay. "Crap. Hang on, Jenavieve." He scooped the girl up and dashed like a mad man all the way to the nurse.  
Jay had to spend the rest of the day in the nurse's office using a respiratory machine for breathing treatments. Of course the school had to call Coulson who freaked out and wanted to get off work that instant and go get her. But the nurse insisted that she was perfectly fine with the breathing machine and that he could get her at the standard time. He complied to that request but only to keep her home the next day.  
Every time she got asked what had happened she would fib and say that she challenged Randall to the race and not the other way around. The last thing she could afford at the time was an enemy with a motive.

Now, Jay is in the first grade and is still too tiny for her own good. Throughout her whole kindergarten year Coulson drove her to school, but during some point over the summer his hours were changed and he now had no time to take her himself. That meant Jay would have to walk to school, considering that the buses would not pick up any kids that lived within a mile of the school.

During the first month of her walking routine she would walk farther behind the other kids, trying to stay unnoticeable. Every single day she would stay just one or two more steps behind than the previous day. And, every single day the kids would still shout out names in her direction. Jay had come to the conclusion that if she were to leave just ten minuets later than the group did she would still be able to make it to school in time and stay out of their way. Her new plan did work, but it only took a week for the other kids to figure out her new schedule. Then ever since they found out, day after day as she walks by the empty car lot, they hurl rocks in her direction. The first time this happened it came as a eye-stinging shock that she tried to out run, but of course, they followed. Over time she learned that there was no use in running because they would just do it again on the walk home from school. Jay just kept walking. She never turned to face them or acknowledge their rain of rocks. (Jay was just happy that most of them had horrible aim.) Indifference was a look that she wore well and that made the kids furious.

Today was no different than any other day for her. She got up, put on a fake face, and headed off to school as usual. The typical havoc of the other kids met her along the way, just like always. On her walk home she just kicked the small pebbles on the sidewalk like normal until she was met by an unfamiliar sound. Silence. The uneasiness of the wind blew all around the empty car lot. Jay stood still and just stared into the lot trying to catch a glimpse of the others behind a barrel or stack of tires. She cautiously started on her way home again, hoping that maybe all the other kids just rushed home today. That was all until she was blindsided by a numbing blow to the head. Briefly, Jay stumbled only to then hightail it out of there.

Admits her mad-dash away from the heathens of hell, Jay realized that her head was bleeding from the half brick that was chucked at her head. No matter how much her lungs protested or how blurred the tears made her vision, she didn't slow down not even for a second. She busted through the front door and collapsed into a puddle of tears. During her crying and sporadic breathing she didn't notice that Coulson, Peggy, and Fury were having a meeting in the living room.

"Jay! What's wrong?" Coulson leaped out of his chair and to her side.  
Jay was too devastated to even begin trying to attempt to form coherent words.  
Phil gathered her up and placed her beside Peggy on the couch. "Jay, honey. Look at me," he attempted to gain her attention and calm her. His kindness only seemed to cripple the girl more. She wrapped her arms around his neck and just sobbed profusely.  
"Coulson, her head is bleeding!" Peggy gasps at the rather large cut trailing with blood on the child's head.  
"What!?" Both Fury and Coulson exclaim on the limits of worry and outrage.  
"Nick, go get the first aid kit and her inhaler from my bathroom. Peggy, could you please go grab a wet rag." Phil grips onto his daughter. "Jay. Look at me honey. I need you to tell me what happened." Coulson takes the cool rag from Peggy and begins to wipe off Jay's crimson face.  
She has met her breaking point and at the moment all she could do is bawl and shake her head.  
"Coulson, here." Fury places the kit on the coffee table and extends the inhaler out to him. "Jenavieve. Breath," he cradles her face and puts the inhaler's mouth piece into her mouth. "One, two, three." Coulson counts before pressing down on the small canister that pushes air into Jay.  
Soon her breathing is under control but she is still a mess of tears. "Shhh. Hey, hey, hey. It's okay you're here now." Coulson calms her enough to where she is finally able to form an actual response.  
"They- they are just so- so me- mean to me." Jay trembles in his hands.  
"Who is? Who is mean to you?" Fury protectively interjects.  
"The- the kids at my sc-school. They hate m-me." Jay stutters through a stream of tears.  
"What did they do to you, darling?" Peggy soothes as she begins to doctor up Jay's cut.  
"They ca-call me names, push me, and laugh at me. They als-also throw rocks at m-me when I walk to school." She crumbles into more tears right before them.  
The room is filled with astonished silence among the adults, all exchanging agape expressions. There seems to be an eternity of incomplete questions growing inside their heads. 

Jay draws in a sharp inhale, "Why don't they lik-like me? I'm just smaller th-than them. Why do they hate me f-for it?" She looks at Coulson before squeezing her eyes shut again. "Wha-t did I do t-to make them ha-hate me so much?" Her last question is silently heart shattering. 

Coulson sighs causing a few tears to roll down his cheeks as well. "Some people in this world only want to see others suffer and some of them want to be the cause of that suffering. Unfortunately, the world is full of these people and sometimes it may seem like they are the only ones in this world. Jay I need you to look at me. None of this is your fault. You have done nothing wrong. There are just cruel people in this world and what I would give so you wouldn't ever have to face them. No matter how hard we try we can never be excluded from that hate and I am so, so sorry that they have done this to you. I wish you would never have to suffer." He pulls her into his lap and rocks back and forth shushing her. Both Fury and Peggy have lines of tears barely appearing on their faces as they watch the girl they adore breakdown.

I wish I could say that these tears, these words, and these moments of suffering would never happen again. But, then I would be lying and she would not be who she really is.


	8. Heroes Know Sticks and Stones Too, Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if its not up to par, I'm positive the later chapters will be much better. This chapter does reveal motivation and possibly downfalls.

( October 11, 1990. Coulson and Jay's house)

 

Eventually, Jay had calmed down enough to stop crying and went to her room to cool off while Peggy, Fury, and Coulson changed the discussion matter of their meeting.

Jay pulled her knees into her chest and hid from the world underneath her covers.  
"Bonnie, people are just so mean. It just doesn't make sense," she sniffles into her bunny companion.  
No real noise is present in the room besides the occasional sniffle from Jay and the humming of the ceiling fan.

A quiet knock tapped against the wood of her door followed by the sound of the brass knob turning.  
Peggy poked her head in the room and frowned as she saw Jay intertwined in the lump of blankets. "May I come in?" Her was voice gentle. 

Jay pulled the covers down just far enough to reveal half of her head and nodded. Peggy took the small approval and stepped inside the dimly lite bedroom. She sat herself down on the edge of the twin-sized bed and pulled the lavender comforter down exposing Jay's entire head. "There's my sweet girl," she offers a kind smile.

Jay avoids eye contact and just picks at the fluffy coat of her bunny.  
Peggy furrows her eyebrows and frowns again as she brushes the strands of hair out of the child's tear swollen eyes. "Why didn't you tell any of us sooner?" She rubs Jay's left shoulder to which the girl just responded with a shrug. Peggy raised her eyebrow expectant of an actual answer. 

The girl sat up and spoke timidly, "I didn't want you guys to be disappointed. You all talked about how school is great and how I would have lots of friends. I didn't want to tell you that I had none." A single tear treks its way down her puffy, cherry cheeks. "Why don't they like me? I mean, I'm just smaller than them but they just won't give me a chance." Jay wipes her nose with her sweater sleeve. 

Peggy's eyes deepen with thought and sympathy for the girl. She loses herself in thought but then brews up an idea. "Jenavieve, come here. I have a story you might want to hear," she opens her arms so the girl could climb into her lap.  
"Is it about the time you beat that man up with a stapler?"  
Peggy lets out a laugh at recalling that particular event and remembers how Jay's eyes had nearly popped out of her head when she told her. "No, darling. This story is about a dear old friend of mine." 

Jay lifts her head off of Peggy's shoulder, "Who?"  
"His name is Ste- was Steve. You remember us talking about him every now and again, yes?" Peggy clears her throat but doesn't wait for a answer. "Well my friend, Steve, was much smaller than everyone else-"  
"Like me?" Jay cocks her head to the side.  
"Yes, ma'am. Not only was he smaller than the others but he also had asthma just like you do. The first extended conversation I had with him he decided to point out all the places that he had been beaten up at for no real reason at all. I thought it was odd at first but then I realized that he was sharing part of his life story with me. He told me how people had always slammed doors in his face without ever giving him a chance. The thing is no matter how many times people told him he could never make it or that he wasn't worth it, he just pushed harder to prove them wrong. That's how he joined that army actually. Well determination and fake identities, but that beside the point. When the world pushed him down he always stood back up for what's right. Always. He never lost sight of who he was or what was good in the world. Steve went through some changes and after these changes people decided they would listen to him and respect him. He was the same person he had always been but just physically different. It's a crying shame that people only care to listen to those that are noticeably similar to themselves. What I am saying is that no matter how small he felt or how little people valued him, he always stood tall and proud. His morals and decisions inspired beyond this nation. He stood for something greater than himself. I see so much of him in you." Peggy withdraws a small black and white photo from her pocket. "Always stay who you are, Jay. Don't let a soul in this world knock you down for good. You listen to me, Jenavieve. Always stand back up. Stand for what is right in the world, Lord knows we need more people to do the same. Keep what I am telling you in your soul, love." Peggy points to Jay's heart. "Preserve the light your heart."

Jay studies the old photo of Steve. He really was smaller than the others in the background. She inspects the picture more carefully, cupping it in her hands. "Is that Captain America," her tone portrays disbelief.  
"Mhmm." Peggy nods.  
Jay's eyes widen, "Wow." Pure amazement seeping through. Jay had known that Captain America didn't always have people on his side but she never knew that he used to be the underdog. 'If he could make it that far and become a hero, so can I.' Jay justified to herself. 

The rest of the night went on with individual advice from Fury, Coulson, and a bit more from Peggy. Jay soaked it all in and sorted it all out in her mind. The one thing that was much bolder than the rest was the story of Steve Rogers. After that night she was determined to prove herself worthy to be in this world. Every morning she would wake up and remind herself to always stand back up no matter the pain, heartbreak, or odds. Always stand up.


	9. Too Fast

(November, 29, 1994)

As the years past Jay grew and never lost sight of what Peggy had told her. Ever since the day she came home and finally told Peggy, Coulson, and Fury about what was going on; they decided that they would teach her basic self defense. More often than not, it was Peggy coaching her after school and over the summer breaks. Nothing can bond two girls like that training did. 

During Jay's second grade year a new girl, and her first real friend, had just moved into the area.  
"Alright class listen up!" Mrs. Scott chimed. "We have a new student joining us today. Her name is Maria Hill and I expect that you will all make her feel welcomed."  
Jay felt bad for the raven haired girl that looked embarrassed by their overly bubbly teacher. 

"Good morning, Maria." The whole class droned in sync.  
"Okay dear, you can go and sit in any available seat and make yourself at home. Or should I say make yourself at school." Mrs. Scott erupts at her own joke and departs to her desk. 

There were five open desks scattered around the room but the one that the girl had chosen just happened to be on Jay's left. Maria sat down giving a few glances to Jay before speaking up, "Is it okay if I sit here?"  
Jay was actually shocked that this girl was going to sit next to her, let alone speak to her. "Um, yeah. I mean it's not like anyone is going to fight you for it."  
The girl lets out a more confident laugh, "Okay thanks. My name is Maria. In case you didn't hear Mrs. Sunshine over there." Maria gave a head tilt in Mrs. Scott's direction.  
It was Jay's turn to laugh, "My name is Jenavieve but you can call me Jay. Actually, please call me Jay." 

Once that school year was over and everyone drifted into summer, Jay spent most of her spare time either practicing with Peggy or hanging out with Maria. Yet, once again the summer break ended and threw the children back into school, ready or not. It's safe to say that when Jay had walked in on the first day of third grade it shocked every student and teacher. Up until then, Jay was always picked on for being 'too small', but after a well deserved growth spurt she finally caught up to everyone else. She was no longer small enough for them to push around but man did they try. That 'dumb boy' Randall, as Jay would have put it, had mocked her every day for the first month of school. It wasn't too long before Jay's patience finally ran out.

Recess time had come, the time for every kid to run wild like a deranged pack of animals.  
"Hey Gus, do you want to know something?" Randall rose his voice so it would catch both Jay's and Maria's attention.  
"What is it Randall?" The redhead boy snickered.  
"Jay may have grown but she is still a stupid baby." Randall angled his head to catch the girls' reactions.  
"Really? You're in the third grade and still using 'baby' as an insult? Doesn't sound like she is the stupid one to me." Maria scoffs in the indifferent Jay's defense. 

Both Randall and Gus had stopped laughing and turned to completely face the two of them. "Well I think baby suits her because she is one."  
"Do you not know what her dad does for a living? He works for the government and can do what ever he wants." Maria had to twist the truth a little but only to make a point.  
"Oh please I'm not afraid of her stupid dad," the word choice made Jay twitch. "Besides we all know that she's adopted. He's not even her real dad." Randall switched his attention to Jay who has remained a statue the whole time. "You had to be adopted because your parents didn't want you! They didn't love you as a stupid baby so he had to take you instead!" A stream of insults flowed out of his mouth and into Jay's ears.  
A whirlwind of memories about the Blares and everything they had said and done to her swirled around her brain. The countless taunts from all the horrible kids at school mixed together to form a blurry, daunting storm inside her head. Before anyone could stop her, Jay launched herself at Randall and pinned him against the mulch. "Shut up," she threw a punch that connected with the right side of his jaw. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Jay pounded her fists against him again and again until Mr. Elliot slung her over his shoulder. 

Needless to say she had to be sent to the principal's office and Randall to the nurse. After that day none of the kids ever tried to pick on her again. That was also the day Coulson made the executive decision to layoff the defense training for a while.

Now, Jay is in the fifth grade and still walks to school everyday, ten minuets after the group with Maria. She was content with her daily routine and saw no benefit in walking with the group of kids. Today that would drastically change.

"Oh, Jay. I just got a call and Maria is staying home sick today." Coulson rushed around the living room.  
"Um, are you on a treasure hunt?" Jay can't help but tease him as she watches him lift up the couch cushions.  
"I lost my keys, Mrs. Smart-Alec. And if anyone were to be on a treasure hunt we both know it would be Fury." Coulson continues to tear apart the living room.  
Jay nods in agreement and goes to grab her backpack from the kitchen island. "Coulson," his name is followed by the clinking of metal.  
"Yes, Ja-" his face falls deadpan upon the sight of the triumphant Jay jingling his keys.  
Jay tosses them to the 100% done Coulson. "They were in the change bowl," she jabs her thumb in the direction of the counter.  
"What would I do without you?" He shakes his head.  
"Be late to work everyday." Jay grins showing off her pearly white teeth.  
"Probably. Speaking of which, we both need to get a move on." Coulson wraps her into a hug, "Love you kiddo." He presses a kiss to her forehead.  
"Love you too," she returns the hug. 

Coulson walks her out the front door and climbs into his new SUV. He gives her a honk and a wave before pulling out of the driveway.

Jay just follows her usual path to school including passing the abandoned car lot. The sight makes her mind venture to thoughts about various things. Like how long the lot has been abandoned, what Maria is sick with, and what they will be doing in Mrs. Fischer's class that day. She is only about three turns away from the school when something catches her attention. It is a low beeping noise.

"What the?" Jay furrows her eyebrows at the thin red light. "What is that," she bends down to get a better look. It resembled something similar to a laser pointer. She just shrugs her shoulders and keeps walking. "Must be a new security system or something," she concludes to herself. 

Not even ten steps away from the car she hears it again. The beeping has grown louder than before. Jay turns her head to the direction of the beeping to find that the light wasn't coming from beneath the car. Her eyes follow the stream of light to find that its coming from on top of the lamp post just across the road. The path of the laser had been pointed down towards the car. She takes a few steps closer to the low pitched noise. The beeping is definitely louder now. 

Just when things don't begin to add up the screeching of tires capture her attention. It's a large black van with tinted windows headed straight in her direction. She remembers all those talks in school about strangers and is not about to stand still. Jay throws off her backpack knowing that it would only slow her down and breaks into a dead sprint. As she is coming upon the end of the road the tires screech again a noise that Jay knows is only bad news in a situation like this.

It all happened so fast. Too fast. One second she was running as fast as she could and then the next, the whole world went dark.


	10. Worst Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short chapter and I am sorry this really just a realization for Coulson and establishing Jay was definitely taken. By the way both of these events are happening at the same relative time but due to time zones the clock time (time shown) is different.

(November 29, 1994. 9:55 PM.)

The ringing was either in the air or just in her throbbing head. Her mind was awake before the rest of her could even move. Jay could remember Coulson telling her- or was it Peggy? Maybe Fury? She quickly decided who said it wasn't as important was what they said. The high pitched ringing made it difficult for her to shuffle through her memories. "Think, Jay. Think!" she demanded inside her mind. "Step 1: don't ask too many questions. They will grow impatient and that's never good. Step 2: try and identify your surroundings. Are they familiar? What region is it? Step 3: look for ways out but not the ones that take too long. Step 4: try your hardest to not let them put anything inside your mouth. Step 5: always control-" her steps were interrupted by the sound of a car horn. Her eyes shot open but still only saw darkness. The black cloth they had tied around her head let no light in, that is if there was any.

Next was the feeling of the van stopping causing her to roll forward slightly. "Вы получаете девушку, но держать глаза покрыты." A deep voice instructed who she guessed to be another man. "Where are they taking me?" Jay panicked as the van door slid open. Two large, rough hands grabbed her and pulled her out. Jay tried to wiggle free but who ever had a hold on her was clearly not going to let go. She was desperately trying to find her voice but when she opened her mouth nothing past a silent squeak came out. 

Her feet finally touched the ground but something was keeping her from taking large strides. There was the clinking of metal. Shackles. They were cuffed around her wrists and a long chain connected the set cuffed to her ankles. Exactly like a prisoner. The air was much colder now and the wind blew straight through her sweater causing her to tremble. The trembling was more so from her panicking than the cold but she remembered step five. Always control your breathing. The two hands grasping her forced her to walk forward.

Was that snow crunching under her feet? Countless thoughts buzzed around her brain. Where am I? Why am I here? What do they want with me? Jay kept walking, still unable to find her voice and praying to God that Coulson would find her. Now.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Outside of Jay's school 2:55 PM)

Coulson sat patiently in the SUV drumming on the wheel to 'Sunglasses at Night'. "Where is she?" Phil sighed and twisted his wrist watch around to check the time. It wasn't unusual for Jay and Maria to stay behind a few minuets talking or helping clean the classroom. But she would have normally been out by now.

"Hey, Mr. Coulson." A muffled voice came from the passenger side window. Coulson glanced over and saw Maria waving.  
He rolled down the window, "Hello, Maria. How are you? I thought you stayed home sick today?"  
"I didn't feel that bad and decided to come. Plus it is the day that we get to do the star dome in Mrs. Fischer's class. Are you here to get Jay's make-up-work?" The wind blew her bangs across her spirited face.  
"Make-up-work?" Coulson cocked his head at the odd question.  
"Yeah, make-up-work. Oh and can you tell her that I hope she feels better? Does she have the flu or some-"  
"Maria what are you talking about? Jay came to school today," he squints and shakes his head in confusion.  
Maria began to shake her head as well, "No she didn't."  
Coulson sat back in his seat his face plastered with uncertainty. Suddenly it felt like he was slammed into a brick wall. His stomach felt like it was free falling and his heart flooded with his worst fear.  
"Mr. Coulson? Is Jay okay?" Maria's voice was rising with concern.  
Coulson frantically puts the car in drive. "Maria, I have to go. Call my house if she turns up anywhere, okay?" Phil doesn't leave time for her to answer and just speeds away.  
"This can't be happening," his voice wavers and his body shakes. 

Both of their worst fears are becoming a reality.


	11. Welcome, Fate's Children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The parts that are italicized are Jay's thoughts. The time zone of Maryland (where Washington D.C. is) and the specific time zone she is in are a 7 hours difference. The next chapter will be what Coulson was doing while this was happening to Jay. If you have any comments or advice feel free to do so. Thank you for reading this far and I hope you enjoy!

(November 29, 1994. 10:30 PM)

After what seems to be hours of walking blindly through the snow Jay hears what sounds like a metal door opening.  
"Положите ее с другими." The unknown voice instructed the person guiding her.  
She took a few more steps forward before the ground disappeared beneath her making her heart leap.  
"Watch your step," a mans voice came from behind her.

 _Russian. _She recognized the thick accent easily. Her heart thudded like a timpani whose down beat was each step she took further into God knows where. Tears pricked her hidden eyes, but she refused to cry in front of others. Especially now. The ground eventually leveled out beneath her and she began to memorize the directions they took. Straight for only a few strides,a right turn, and then continued straight.__  
It sounded like a metal latch and handle turned and opened another door. Jay held her breath when she heard what she thought were other people. Her ears picked up sniffling. _Are there other kids here? ___  


The set of hands guided her farther into the room and then turned her around. There are definitely other kids here. A shoulder about the same height as hers brushed against her. _What the hell is going on? ___

"Закрыть дверь!" An abrupt female voice made her insides shake. _Control your breathing Jay. It's okay. _  
"Снимите повязку," the voice commanded again. She heard heavy foot steps walking down the line on her right. The exposure to the dingy light was still enough to make her shut her eyes as a large man yanked off her blindfold. Jay blinked a few more times and shakily turned her head to her left and then her right. She was the fourth to the last kid on the left of the first line. There were three more rows of kids that looked absolutely petrified.__

"Children!" The woman yelled through her thick accent. Everyone's attention jolted towards her. She was tall, about 5'7, slender, and looked to be in her mid-thirties. She was beautiful, something most people would view as fragile but she was far from that. She was wearing a navy blue pant suit with her jet black hair pulled back in a ponytail. She cleared her throat, "Welcome, my dear ones. I am sorry if the trip was... uncalled for. I just could not risk not having you here," she draws out her arms motioning elegantly to the room.

There were semi-rusted pipes fastened to the tops of the tall, white concrete walls. The ceiling was high above a system of steel rafters where the florescent lights buzzed quietly. Jay's eyes scanned the room and saw a red light next to the top right corner of the door on the left side of the front wall. As she studied the room even further she noticed racks of fighting sticks, knives, guns, and other weaponry bolted to the back wall. There were targets posted along the far right wall which all seemed to be brand new. Towards the back right corner was a boxing ring and on its left sides were blue wrestling mats leaned against the wall. _I really don't like this. ___

"My name is Arabella Kristanova." Her voice graced the room with a demanding eloquence.

_Nice to meet you Mrs. Kristanova, now where the hell are we and why are we here?! ___

"Welcome to Russia, but most of all, welcome to The Three Fates." Kristanova smirks with a mischievous pride.

_Russia!? Three Fates?! Isn't that some Greek myth about old ladies that cut peoples life strings so they die?! ___

"I have hand selected all 100 of you because I believe that you can achieve greatness. You are Fate's Children. Over the course of time we will apply the three T's to your lives. Teach, train, and if you are disobedient, torture." Her expression was too casual for comfort.

The last word seemed to suck the air out of the room. Jay began to feel dizzy but squeezed her eyes shut again and drew in a deep breath. _This can't be happening. I was just a small kid from D.C. there is nothing special about me. ___

"The point of this program is so we can train you to be the best but we only need so many. Like I said, you all could achieve greatness and be some of the best. However, I am only interested in having _the best _. That means we will cut down the crowd until the top two are standing and then that's when the real fun begins."__

_Cut down the crowd? She means kill doesn't she. Don't sugar coat it for us. You already kidnapped us and told us that we would be tortured just tell us that you will kill us. ___

"In order to cut down the crowd we will evaluate you off of your performance levels. Are you adaptable, do you listen, do you learn at our pace, are you versatile, and are you lethal? This is what will decide your fate." The woman's words began to sink in like venom.  
She wanted to deny that she was feeling it but it was too real to be a lie.  
"Look around you," she waved her hand fluidly. "These are not your friends. These are your rivals. You are playing no game here. What you do here is a matter of _life and death _," her last words and gaze landed on Jay.__

It wasn't until she instinctively squared up that she noticed she had been slouching before. Jay felt a startling weight under the woman's stare but returned it with a look of her own unbroken indifference.

The woman's eyes looked her over briefly and her lips flickered a smirk that was almost never there before she began to pace down the row again. "If you want to survive then you will do as I say. I also have helpers and you will do as they say unless I tell you differently. My word is final. If you refuse to comply with my wishes you get a strike. You do not want to get a strike. You get a strike, then you get tortured. Everyone gets a total of three strikes. On your third strike, you're out. We will be teaching you everything. That means mathematics, sciences, history, strategies, languages, technology skills, combat, etc... I also find it important for you to have musical skills. Never know when you will need that," she laughs. "You will not be sharing a room with anyone. You will have a routine that we give you. You must follow it everyday. You must always have permission to go into specific rooms, you have curfews, you will have a required uniform, and you will be served your meals in your rooms. We start evaluating you tomorrow so be well rested by sunrise. Not all of you will be here by the end of tomorrow," her voice rings out its final words. The woman gives a head nod to the crowd of children and a guard opens the right door letting her exit.

Jay tried to take in and process all that was just said but it was almost as if her mind was buffering. It couldn't grasp what was now a frightening reality.

A large bearded man stepped into the spot where Mrs. Kristanova had just stood. "You will be escorted to your rooms. Once you are there, you will change into the clothes on your bed, and you will go to sleep." His accent made him speak with a thick tongue. He made his way to the boy at the left end of Jay's line and told the whole line to follow him.  
One by one everyone filed out of the room and back into the hallway. The ceiling was not as high as it was in the training room and was lite by strips of florescent lighting down the middle. About thirty feet down the hall she noticed the staircase on the left that she had originally entered from. It didn't appear to be a cellar entry like she had imagined. The man turned right, away from the stairs, down a long hall way with doors on both sides. He began pointing each kid to a door and told them to go inside. As they approached the second door on the right he pointed at Jay and told her the same.

While entering the room, she noticed the number four painted in black on the metal door. She could hear the man still pointing kids off to their rooms and telling them to close their doors behind them. Jay did as instructed, not wanting to earn a strike on her first and hopefully only night here. The navy blue clothes were set out on the bed for her to wear and that's when it all set in. Her heart rate drummed against her chest and she no longer had control over her breathing. The long held back tears spilled from her eyes. It felt as if someone was gripping her throat and squeezing off her ability to breath. The walls seemed to be moving in and surrounding her at an alarming rate. Jay dropped to her knees shaking and choking on her own tears. She curled into the fetal position and held onto her legs for dear life.

_I should have walked in the group. I should have asked Coulson to take me. I should have hugged him a little longer, a little harder, a little more. Please find me. Coulson, please. I will never ask for anything again just please come save me again. Coulson, Peggy, Fury, somebody. _She sobbed violently into herself. Her face was soaked and burning with fear. She fell apart on the floor gasping for air. Begging to be found. She didn't care if who found her was the Blares, she just needed to be found. No other thoughts could cross her mind, the panic was too tight around her. The air was becoming thin but she kept crying until everything around her became unreal. Jay couldn't tell if she was passing out because of a lack of air or due to the unknown feeling. A feeling that was much deeper and darker than fear. Either way, she couldn't bring herself to stop so she just cried until everything just seemed to, stop.__


	12. Find Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is what happened at DC during the previous chapter with Jay

(November 29, 1994. 3:30 PM)

Coulson never slowed down past 80 MPH. He was driving like a bat out of hell and wasn't going slow down for anything. Nearing the parking garage he skidded in through the entrance and into his parking space. "This cannot be happening," he wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and hauled ass to Fury's office. The whole sprint there people were trying to get Phil to slow down and explain why he was running but he just pushed through the crowd.

"Nick! Jay is missing!" Coulson busted through Fury's office doors. 

Fury lifted his head up from writing whatever the person on the phone was saying. He was met by the look of sheer panic on his best friend's face. "Alexander, I am going to have to let you go. Something more urgent has come up." Fury placed his office phone down on the receiver. "What? How do you know that she is missing?" Nick's voice filled with disbelief. 

Coulson paced the length of the room, "Her friend Maria was supposed to stay home sick today, so Jay walked to school by herself. I should have taken her. I should have not cared about being late, Nick I should have taken her." He placed his hand over his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut. 

"Phil, I need you to calm down. How do you know that she is missing?" Fury rose to his feet and braced his desk.  
Coulson took a deep breath and opened his eyes. "When I went to go pick Jay up from school, because that's when I decided to take my lunch break, Maria came up to my window and asked if I was there to get Jay's make-up-work. I told her that Jay went to school today and she said that Jay never showed up. You know Jay, she is not the kind of kid that would skip school. I mean sure she used to fake sick to get out of going to school but that's only because the other kids were so damn hateful to her. Today she was excited to go to school because they were doing something with stars and domes, I don't know. And before you ask, yes I went home and checked to see if she was there but she wasn't." Phil's voice began to waver and even more tears attempted to flow. "We need to find her, Nick. I can't lose my daughter," he breathed.

Fury stared at Coulson beginning to feel his fear. He reached over to his office phone and punched in a four digit code. "Everyone listen up," his voice echoed through every room of the Triskelion, "I have just been informed that Agent Coulson's daughter, Jenavieve, has gone missing. Now I am going to need full cooperation from all of you. Unless you are working Project Homeland you need to be looking for her. She went missing this morning, and no she is not technically a missing person until after 48 hours but this is Jenavieve we are talking about here. She is our family and we need to find her. We will search this whole city top to bottom until we find her. I don't care if we have to search the whole state, nation, or world. You all know what she looks like but just in case there will be a recent photo of her and the need to know stuff sent out. If you find anything you tell me, Agent Coulson, or Agent Carter. Find her." He hung up the phone and looked to Coulson, "We will find her. I promise."

From the moment that Nick had said that Jenavieve had gone missing everyone in the building froze. Practically all of them had seen and met her at least once. Above all that she is Coulson's daughter, Fury's niece, and Peggy's granddaughter. Every single agent available dashed to the meeting rooms to get locations to search. They were determined not to come back empty handed.

It was Peggy that stood frozen in place the longest. Even as the swarm of people ripped past her she didn't flinch, she felt as if she was choking on her heart. "No," fell from her lips as a tear fell from her eye. Images of Steve flashed through her mind. The last time she heard his voice before the line went dead and everything crashed down. She remembered the promised dance. She remembered all the friends and family she has lost over the years. Peggy shook her head and began to push against the still flowing crowd. Her head was shaking 'no' the whole way to Fury's office. "Coulson," her voice cracked as she entered, "she can't be missing." Both Phil and Nick faced her each of their faces solemn. She dropped her head, "No. She can't be missing I promised to take her to the ballet. Jay was looking forward to it for months." Peggy's voice was hushed but it filled the room. 

"Peggy don't do that to yourself." Coulson made his was over to her and put his hand on her shoulder.  
She shook her head again causing the tears to finally stream down her cheeks. "She can't be missing. I promised her," she pressed her face into Coulson's shoulder.  
He wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to comfort not only her but also himself. "I know Peggy, I know," his voice became shakier. She drew in a staggering breath, "But I promised her."

(4:15 PM)

 

The group remained silent for a while before beginning to access street cam footage from traffic cameras. Agent Henley interrupted by running out of breath through the wide open doors. "Fury," he panted, "one of the groups that was searching the neighborhoods near her school found this." The winded agent lifted up Jay's lavender backpack. It was covered in dirt from when she chucked it to the ground in her attempt to escape. 

Coulson stood up and rushed towards Henley, "What street did they find this on?" He took her backpack out of Henely's hands and brushed it off. 

"Rolling Meadows Drive. It was out front of the house that's for sale, address is 5583. The group also noticed skid marks from what seems to be a van from Big Springs road turning right on to Rolling Meadows. There was another set about 8 yards from the stop sign at the end of the drive." 

"Thank you Agent Henley. Go tell the group to keep looking near there for anything out of the ordinary. If anything seems off, you contact one of us." Coulson points to Fury and Peggy before escorting the agent out. Coulson's eyes dropped to Jay's backpack in his right hand, "Come on, Jay. Give us a sign." 

"We will find her. If it is the last thing I do so help me God, we will find her." Peggy pressed back her shoulders and sat tall. Her strength gave both of the men the push they desperately needed.


	13. Fate's Evaluation

(Just before sunrise. November, 30, 1994.)

_"Jay, honey come here I have something to show you!" Coulson's voice rang throughout the house. Jay leaped off her bed ecstatic about the surprise. She skips gleefully down the hallway and into the living room._

_"Yes, Coulson what is it?" She stands in the middle of the room looking around for what he wanted to show her._

_"I would like you to meet someone," his smile is familiar and warm. Coulson cleared his throat, "Mrs. Kristanov," his smile turned to something sinister._

_"Coulson," Jay's voice cracked, "what's going on?"_

_The recently met face of Arabella Kristanova turns the room dark. "You will be going with Mrs. Kristanova and living with her from now on," he motions to Arabella._

_Jay finds herself stumbling over her own tongue. "What? Why, Coulson?" her breathing rate quickens and she can feel the panic in her throat._

_"Oh it's very simple, dear. He doesn't love you anymore and wants you gone." Kristanova's voice is sharp, the intent full of pain._

_"What? No. Coulson you can't let me go with her." Jay runs to Coulson who just shrugs._

_"She's right. You are a burden to me." Coulson looks down emotionless at the child. "Take her," he nods to Kristanova._

_"Coulson, no please!" Jay attempts to tug her arm out of the wicked woman's grasp. "Coulson!" The girl shrieks at the top of her lungs as she gets pulled out of the house. The large black van that chased her is in the drive way with the bearded man in the driver's seat. "Coulson!" she screams again tears draining down her face. The man honks the van horn. ___

BEEEEEEP! The alarm sounds off again causing the tear filled Jay to wake. "What the-" she frantically looks around and sees that she is still on the floor. She then looks up to see a red light blinking besides the top left hand corner of the room door. "Crap." Jay scrambles to her feet and begins to peel off her clothes and replace them with the uniform placed on the bed. Not a second after she finishes lacing up her black combat boots a ferocious bang rattles the metal door.

Jay springs to her feet as the large man from the night before opens the door and points to her. "Follow me." She looks past his body in the door frame and sees the original line of kids. She finds her place in line and continues to the last three doors of the hall, which are technically the first. _I guess they get us in reverse order._

The line follows the same path it had taken last night to the main training room. Another man, more averaged sized dressed in a gray uniform with a navy blue emblem on his left shoulder, opens the door for them. Once again the line takes its place right in front of Mrs. Kristanova. The only difference is is that they are the only line of kids in the room.

"I hope you all got some rest because for the next few hours you will be very busy. You will be the first 25 evaluated today. We will start off by recording your weight and height. You will tell us your eyesight and any ailments you have." She points to the boy on the left end and motions him to the man with the beard. She points off the next two kids to different 'helpers' of hers. When it comes to Jay being the next in line Kristanova approaches her. "I will measure you myself. Follow me." The woman turns on her heel and walks to the front wall where the height markers and scales have been placed.

_Was there large windows leading to a control room there last night? _Jay noticed the panes of glass and control panels on the front wall. She mentally curses at herself for missing such a large part of the room.__

"Step on the scale." Kristanova grabs a clipboard with a manila file marked '4'. Jay does as told and watches the dial spin up to the number 77. "Good," the woman scribbles in the file. "Stand here with your back straight and head level." The director side steps in front of the height marks. Jay stepped off the scale and pressed her back flat against the wall. "Four feet nine inches. You are a tall one for your age. Now tell me your eyesight and ailments you have." Kristanova clicked her pen and placed the tip on the paper, ready to write.

Jay's throat went dry but she spoke anyways. "I have twenty-twenty vision and asthma," she managed to keep her voice consistent.

Kristanova raised one eyebrow and looked at her. "Asthma?" According to her tone she was clearly displeased with the information.

Jay swallowed the lump in her throat, "Yes ma'am, but I haven't had any problems with it since I was seven. Even running long distances hasn't proven a problem."

Both of Kristanova's eyebrows rose, the unpleasantness slipped from her expression. "Very good then," she nodded and continued to record the information.

The evaluations of the other kids didn't last long at all. For about a minuet, Kristanova and Urie, the bearded man now with a name, went off to the side and exchanged their findings. Every now and again the two would briefly point to a kid in line. Towards the end of their conversation Kristanova turned her head and glanced directly at Jay for a few seconds before stepping towards the line.

_I'm dead aren't I? ___

Kristanova folded her hands in front of her as Urie went down the line rearranging all the kids. Jay was now placed at the very left end of the line meaning either first or last placement and she couldn't tell which one she would rather be.

"Children. Starting from the right end of the line all the way to the left you will preform simple tests for me. Understood?" She took the unsure silence as confirmation and started towards the left door that they had entered from. A few seconds later the lights inside the control room flipped on and she stood behind the man operating the systems.

"Alright." Urie's voice grabbed all their attention. "When you hear the beep you will run up to this table and throw three knives at the first target. Then you will run to the second table and shoot that target three times with the pistol. And then you will run to the third table and shoot three arrows at the last target. Do it as fast and accurately as you can."

One by one the kids ran to the tables and threw the knives and shot the targets but only some were successful. The first girl sprinted to the knives and threw all three with all the might she had, but only one knife's blade made contact with the target. The others either hit it sideways or with the butt of the handle.

_How exactly did she pick any of us? How did she even know about us? ___

Fairly soon, it was Jay's turn and she was more nervous than ever. _What if my hands are too sweaty and the knives slip? What if I drop the gun? What if the pull-back on the bow is too much? _A flood of questions swirled through her head and hollowed out her stomach.__

BEEEEEEP. The buzzer seemed to shake the room and shake all the nerves out of Jay. Every thought escaped her mind and every shred of focus she had went to the mission in front of her. Adrenaline surged through every fiber of her being like a feverish heat. _Life or death. ___

Jay flew across the floor in a straight line towards the first table. She grabbed all three knives by the handle, planted her feet, and threw them one by one. Jay didn't even check to see if she hit the target but just dashed to the next table. Her mind was too focused to slow down now. She grabbed the gun, pushed the magazine clip in, and cocked back the slide. Three separate gun shots pierced the air inside the room and again, she paid no attention to where the bullets hit. Now on the last table, Jay pulled on the protective thumb ring on her right hand and brought the bow up and took her stance. She placed the shaft of the arrow in its hold on the stabilizer and drew back the string. She launched each arrow one after another, somehow capable of taking a proper breath between each shot. As the the last arrow left the string, she set the bow back down on the table along with the thumb ring.

Jay could feel the adrenaline high simmer down. The feeling was like the liquid heat was draining from her head all the way to her feet. It felt uneasy as the frigged nervousness slipped back into place causing her to feel lightheaded. As she turned around to begin walking to her place in the line, she noticed all the kids staring at her. Jay froze in place, realizing that she didn't check to see if anything hit its mark. Awkwardly, she turned on her heel ready to absorb the embarrassment and punishment for missing all her shots. Instead the sight she was met with made her mouth go slightly agape. Every single shot had either landed in the blue just around the bulls-eye or was in the dead center of the target.

_No freaking way. How did I-? ___

Her train of thought was interrupted by clapping, "Now that is what I call a 'dead eye'." Kristanova smirked at Jay. "Urie, take all of the children back to their rooms except for the original numbers of 1, 7, 12, 15, 16, 19, 21, and 23. I need to speak with them," her tone was now somewhat unsatisfied.

Urie nodded and took Jay and the others back to their rooms. "Your meal will be served to you in 15 minuets. In case you didn't already see, you have a bathroom adjoined to your room so don't ask to go use one." His deep voice filled the hallway and each child's room before they were told to close their doors.

Jay walked over to her bed and sat on the edge, "Thank you Peggy, Fury, and Coulson." The memories of her family once again filled her. The room was bleak, cold, and looked more like a cell to her. Tears began to sting the edges of her eyes at the thought of her house back in DC. How it always smelled like laundry fresh from the dryer. Her senses were soon compromised by her daydreams of home. For months on end that was all she could ever seem to think of.

The coziness of Peggy's home on the first night she ever stayed there. She remembered how they made dinner and hot chocolate together. How she explained to Peggy why Fury was secretly a pirate spy. Peggy's story of how she beat a man up with a stapler. The thought of how Peggy had lulled her to sleep by humming and rubbing her head still calmed her. And how the next morning they went out and built her very first snowman.

All the days she spent kicking her feet and spinning herself around in Fury's office chair, convincing him to color with her during his few moments of down time. How he set up a spot for her to watch Disney movies and take a nap. She is still proud of when she finally got him to admit to being a pirate. She also remembers all the times that he took her to lunch and how she would beg to try on his eye patch.

The thoughts of Coulson were the ones that came most often. Day in and day out of them playing superheros and how he would tell her stories to calm her down after nightmares. How he would sing along to her favorite Disney movies with her and how he makes the best pancakes in the world. Or how she was the only one allowed to touch his Captain America trading cards and no matter what happened he was always there for her. They all were.

Soon after that, every day was spent training, being taught countless subjects, and being tortured for no reason at all. Her mind started to grow numb. Numb to any though that wasn't scheduled for her. This was just the beginning of her new life. In time things would become much worse and her surroundings would become some sort of sick and twisted home for her. Eventually she could hardly remember her real life. Or what was her real life.


	14. Strapped Down

(March 14, 2000)

Five years into the program and Jay can't remember who she is. Waves of confusion fill her when she sometimes imagines people calling her Jay. _My name is Isabella not Jay. Who are those people? Why do they look so familiar? Do I know them? _Brainwashing does that to a person, especially one so young.__

Slowly over time, after they had trimmed the group of kids down to only 20, they began to brainwash them. They would only wipe the memories from before the kids were placed in the program. Kristanova's helpers would take them into the 'medical' testing rooms and strap them down to a metal table. The feeling was like having a thousand nails being drilled through your skull accompanied by the sensation of fire singeing you from the inside out. Not to mention the literal feeling of electricity ripping through your brain making your nerves lock up freezing your whole body. They used every ounce of energy they had to scream through the pain to the point of where they could taste blood. Afterwards, they had no energy to even lift their heads so the helpers would just have to drag them back to their rooms. 

Jay soon learned that there was no point in fighting them and their power. Three months after she arrived, a helper took Jay into a room with nothing but a chair. At first she thought it was just another test but then the man placed his hand on her thigh and began to whisper things to her. He kept addressing her as Bella Donna, which is Italian for beautiful woman. When the man tried to progress his actions, Jay kneed him in the jaw and kicked him as hard as she could in his face and ended up breaking his nose. Needless to say that was her first strike and the torture that followed wasn't as severe as it could have been. What caused her to earn her second strike was when she was 14 and saw the same helper drag a small boy in the same direction to that room. A blind rage took over Jay and she blacked out. By the time she came through she was standing over the man who was now motionless. There was no blood but his neck was bent in a weird angle. This time her punishment lasted for four days, the small price you pay if you kill a helper. 

By the time she was 11, Jay hardly ever missed a target and if she did there were consequences. At the age of 13 she was lethal in virtually every form of hand-to-hand combat that they could teach her. When she reached the age of 14, Jay had become fluent in eight languages, had a post-college knowledge on a vast array of content, could play four instruments perfectly, could dance better than almost any professional, and preformed elite interrogation and survival skills. Any time she achieved a new goal set for her or proved herself, Kristanova would praise her by saying, "You were born to do this." 

Sometime when she was 12, Kristanova's superior who worked at another organization, demanded that they begin to preform genetic experimentation on her. This meant that Jay would spend even more time in the 'medical' room. _Oh the joy. _The 'doctors' would strap her down to the tables for hours and sometimes days on end and pump her full of God-knows-what. In the beginning the chemicals were a torrent of pain flowing from the IV's into her veins. It was like filling her up with gasoline and striking a match just to watch the fire span all through out her and engulf her from the inside out. The screams that escaped her where inhumane. Every step of the process was horrifying to experience. The blood curdling shrieks caused by the chemical mixtures that were injected into her, the volts of electricity that looked as though they were sending her into a seizure, and the unsanitary surgeries that left her immobile due to the pain.__

Kristanova's higher up would often over see these procedures. He would mostly stand near the machines and observe from afar. His voice was vaguely familiar which set her on an edge. No matter how many times she has met him, Jay can never recall a face most likely due to the immense pain she was in. Every time she tries to remember it's just a blurry form instructing the others and warning them to not kill her. She may not remember his face but she does remember what he always tells her. The man would sit next to her after the procedures and would always recite the same thing. "One day you will thank me for all of this, because this right here is a service. Not just a service for you, but for the whole human race. You see, the world is full of chaos due to so many people feeling a lack of power when there is really a lack of order. They need a system to show them the way. People like me create people like you so we can instill that order and let the world know who really holds the power. You were not chosen at random, no. You were meant to be here. Every death, every birth, every single solitary action leads to the future of the earth. Your birth, the training, the services I am providing to you is a constant for every possible outcome for the future. You were created for this and you will not fail me." 

Day in and day out of the same treatments went from the feeling of acid deteriorating her body to just a distant sting. The needles and blades used to pierce her skin hardly made her feel anything anymore. The constant torture still hurt but nowhere near where it used to. The chains thrashed across her back, the repetitive blows from brass knuckles, the tearing of skin all became familiar. Jay no longer knows of anything before the first day at the Three Fates. 

Her life was no longer a life. It was a mission. A mission to survive each day and make it to the next. There have been points where she couldn't take it anymore, everything hurt. She would wake up in the morning and cry at the fact that she was still breathing. Each breath she took became more of a burden so for the first time when she was 13 she tried to end her life. One of the helpers went to get her to discuss something with Kristanova and found Jay laying unconscious on her small bathroom floor. When Jay woke up alone in the medical room, she sobbed. To her surprise they did not punish her for the first scar nor did they for the second and third. 

Now at the ripe age of 16, Jay is sent out on only solo missions. Each one being a success by the Fates standards but not by hers. She knew what she was doing wasn't right, but no matter how much she wanted her life to end, Jay refused to die at their hands. Jay was never asked to kill the innocent but she knew that the targets were not the real enemies. 

"Bella, where are you now?" A rough voice cracked through Jay's ear piece.

"Crossing through Red Square. Rendezvous point will be reached in ten minuets." Her response is hushed as she walks through the crowd of mainly tourists. _Moscow is never not busy. ___

"In position. Remember, never run. Walk." Urie's warns.

"Got it." She switches off her earpiece and continues at a brisk pace through the swarm of people. "Tourists," she scoffs to herself. While caught up in her distaste for the clueless masses around the city, someone bumps into her almost making her drop the bag with the 'package' in it. "Watch where your going asshole," she yells bitterly at the man.

He was dressed in a black suit with an overcoat due to the snow. "I apologize. I am just in a bit of a hurry I didn't mean to-" his eyes widen when he finally looks at her.

His face looks familiar but that doesn't mean that she cares. "What are you staring at," her tone bitter and tinged with annoyance.

He blinks his green eyes rapidly, "Jay?" The supposed stranger breaths in question.

Her face immediately drops at the name, "Who the fuck is Jay?"

The man tries to approach her, "Jay, it's me Agent Henley. Justin Henley. I work with your family."

"I don't have a family," she hisses through her teeth while keeping a safe distance.

He continues to approach her, "We have been looking everywhere for you. I mean Fury eventually had to call off the searches no matter how much he didn't want to. It has been years. Where have you been? Peggy, Fury, and Coulson haven't stopped worrying about-" 

"You don't know me, okay? My name is not Jay, I don't know you, and I don't have a family! Stay the fuck away from me you creep!" Her boisterous demands cause many of the crowd to stop and look at her. The stares made her even more uneasy especially when who she is trying to flee from could be in the crowd.

"Jay what the hell is going on?" Henley puts his hands up as if to say he means no harm.

"Get away," her voice sharp as she turns and begins to haul ass to the rendezvous point.

"Wait!" Henley chases after her through the square.

Jay wind sprints through out the streams of people and makes her way into the street with Henley hot on her heels. Her strides are large and quick as she begins to near the black charger SRT8 with Urie inside. She reaches to her ear and turns on the ear piece, "Unlock the doors, start the engine, and put it in drive!" Just when she thinks Urie didn't hear her the car's engine revs. 

"Jay!" Henley hollers in one more attempt to get her to stop. But it's too late. She is barely inside the car before it peels out into the street in a mad get away. "Fuck." Justin huffs with his hands on his knees before pulling out and dialing his phone. "Coulson, this is Henley. I found her." 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Back at the underground bunker for the Three Fates.)

"Why the fuck were you running? Didn't I explicitly tell you not to run? Shit, you could have cost us everything!" Urie makes a huge scene in front of Arabella trying to prove that it wasn't his fault.

Jay remained silent, deep in thought. Everything she thought she knew was now teetering on a line of truths and lies. _Henley? Fury? Peggy and Coulson? Why did he keep calling me Jay? Why is he so familiar? _All questions halt when Kristanova throws something causing a loud bang to jolt Jay.__

"Answer him, Isabella," she shouts in frustration.

Jay lifts her head up to meet their stares. This is the first time in years she has ever shown them an emotion besides indifference. "Why did that man call me Jay?" Her voice is filled burden. 

Kristanova's face transitions to a faint horror, "Take her to the med room. Wipe her memory. You know the drill," her voice cracks.

Urie pulls the silent Jay to her feet and starts down the hall to the medical room. His face matching Kristanova's to a T. When he opens the door to the room, the doctor turns his head and sees Jay looking completely out of it. Urie nods to the doctor and shoves Jay inside the room. The whole staff have a system for this situation. If she remembers or if someone or something messes up the order of perfection they have set out to achieve. 

Jay does not protest as she is strapped down to the table for the millionth time. The doctor flips the switch on one of the machines causing a loud buzzing to vibrate the room. The sound of electricity popping surrounds Jay's head as the plates move into place around her skull. Once locked into place the popping grows louder until it is drowned out by the pitiful screams erupting from Jay. The amount of electricity that they use on her could stall anyone's heart rendering them dead where they lay. But not her. Ever since the testing, Jay's body knows no limits. Every scar she caused couldn't kill her. No bullet to the chest and no test they could conduct on her killed her. Her body defies the impossible. Her screams defy what her lungs used to handle. She was meant to be there. Every single solitary action would have lead her to the same place. Strapped down, panicking like an animal caught in a trap.


	15. Hope Restored, Temporarily

(March 14, 2000)

When Coulson received the phone call his mouth fell open. "Thank you, Agent Henley." His eyes watered up and it felt like he could finally breath again. "She's still alive," he laughs to himself. Coulson ran into his garage and hopped in his car. "I have to tell Fury and Peggy." Phil's smile was a mile wide as he started the SUV and put it in drive. The whole ride to headquarters all he could say was, "She's alive." Once again running through the huge building all his coworkers asked him why he was smiling. "Fury," Coulson threw open the office doors, "she's alive." 

Fury remained at his desk not having registered what Phil had meant at first. As Nick studied his friend some more, he noticed something he hadn't seen in years. Hope. Fury rose to his feet, his face plastered with disbelief. "How do you know?" 

"Henley called me. He said that he was walking through Red Square in Moscow when he bumped into a girl. She yelled at him and told him to watch where he was going and when he looked up to apologize, it was her. Justin has no doubt in his mind. That was Jay. He said that when he addressed her as Jay something in her expression and body language changed. She denied who she was and that she knew who he was, but that was her." Coulson walked with joy over to Nick's desk.

Fury furrowed his eyebrows and sighed. "Coulson, I know how much you miss her. We all do. But it is not healthy to think that just because someone looks like Jay doesn't mean that it's her. It has been six years. How likely is it that-"

"It was her Nick. Henley said that it was 100% with out a doubt in his mind." Coulson defended.

"You also said that Henley mentioned that she didn't even know who she was." 

Coulson stood straight and narrowed his eyes, "Tell me something. If you were to kidnap someone, and you had the technology, wouldn't you would wipe their memories to make the whole process easier. They stole my daughter from me. Like you said, it has been six years. Six years of my daughter being God-knows-where with God-knows-who. I don't even want to imagine what has happened to her, but we need to get her home. I don't care if we have to send every damn agent you have to Russia to search for her." Coulson was a brick wall and wasn't going to budge for anything except compliance.

Fury sighed once more and let out a small chuckle, "My hardheadedness has rubbed off on you just a little bit too much."

"You can say that again." Peggy's voice distracted the two men from their conversation.

"Agent Carter, I have some great news." Coulson beamed.

"Well what is it?" She laughed nervously at his unusual excitement.

"She's alive. Jay, she is alive. Henley saw her at Red Square in Moscow," his voice was now quiet as he strolled over to her. "She's alive, Peggy."

Peggy's mind buffered at the thought. "She's alive," a staggered whisper escaped from her mouth. A tear of happiness fell from her right eye with a twitching smile, "Jay." So many different emotions welled up inside her. She wanted to laugh and clap with joy , she also wanted to cry with relief, but she also found herself doubting in this miracle of a chance. "Are you sure?" 

Coulson nodded vigorusly, "Yes. Henley is 100% sure. He is also our best profiler." Phil's last remark was directed more towards Fury in an attempt to get him to believe.

Upon remembering that Justin Henley was in fact the best profiler the agency had, Fury was convinced. Henley had never misidentified anyone, not even if they were chard to a crisp or 30 some-odd years older than they were when last seen.

The noise of a notification interrupted the excitement flowing between the three of them. "I just received an email from Henley. It's titled 'license plate'?" Fury's voice questioned the odd name. He sat down in his chair and opened the email. "It's a license plate."

"Surprise, surprise." Peggy remarked flatly causing Coulson to laugh.

"Justin says that it's from the car that Jay got into during the get away." Fury enlarged the image on the screen.

"Get away?" Peggy rose her eyebrows at Coulson.

"I'll explain later," he lifted his hands as a sign of "don't worry it's not as bad as you think". "What's the plate number?"

"I am pretty sure it's in Greek." Nick cocks an eyebrow.

Peggy makes her way behind Fury's desk to get a better look at the images. "That is definitely Greek. It says "τρία Μοίρες" which translates to 'Three Degrees' in Russian. If I am not mistaken." 

"Okay, why would someone in Russia have a Greek license plate? Why would it translate to three degrees?" Coulson's voice is a balance of sass and confusion.

"Well my Greek is a little bit rusty." Peggy shrugs apologetically.

"What if you translate the Greek into Russian first and then English?" Fury suggests. 

Peggy thinks for a moment before taking a sheet of paper from a note pad on Fury's desk and begins to write out the translations. "Okay, so when you translate the 'τρία' alone into Russian you get 'три' and when you translate that to English you will get 'the three'. Now if you take the 'Μοίρες' and translate it to Russian and then English you will still get 'degrees'. However, the French version of 'Μοίρες' is 'Moires' and if you translate that into Russian you get 'Парки' which in English is either 'destiny' or 'fates'. Both are interchangeable." Peggy nods after finally finishing the translations.

"Where did you pull the French part from?" Fury tilts his head to the side.

"An old friend taught me quite a bit of the language," she sheds a half smile.

"The three fates. That's a story from Greek mythology." Fury picks up the paper.

"Oh shit." Coulson places his hand over his mouth.

"What?" Both Peggy and Nick ask in sync.

"Rumors have been spreading about this underground organization called The Three Fates. They are saying that it is basically a HYDRA but for kids. They supposedly plan to take kids and pretty much construct them for HYDRA." He sits down in one of Fury's chairs, defeated.

"HYDRA has been gone since World War II. Steve- I mean Captain Rogers took down their leader." Peggy shakes her head fearing the possibility that they could be back.

"They could have had plans to start this fates thing before then. It could have recently been put into motion." Coulson pinches the bridge of his nose.

Fury waved his hands, "Hold on. Are you trying to say that Jay has been placed into some brainwashed, Neo-Nazi kid version of an army? Jay isn't even a kid, she is a teenager."

"She was only ten when she was kidnapped, remember? Besides you are still basically considered a kid until you are 18. The rumors say that this version isn't completely like HYDRA. They supposedly take a group of kids and train them. Once they have a better feel of who is more capable they slim down the crowd until they are down to one. The one." Coulson rests his head in his hands. He feels sick to his stomach about the possibility that his daughter is being brainwashed to follow HYDRA's orders.

"What do you mean _the one?"_ Fury leans over his desk. His fears growing darker.

"The Three Fates is in reality only to train one person and make them think they have competitors. Apparently, whoever the one is they are highly valuable and will basically change the world one day. It's a cover-up to make one of the worlds most dangerous, living weapons." You can hear Coulson's heart drop to the floor.

What started off as excitement and thrill in the possibility of getting Jay back has turned into a nightmare once again. All three of them know that if the rumors are true it can mean two things. Jay is just a prop with a certain death in that foundation or Jay is being made into a weapon for others to use. Both are equally terrifying.


	16. Breath of Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (If you think that the two girls are acting out of character just remember that they are the only ones in the room hence no instructors. Its also being polite, nervous, and having someone their own age to talk to that isn't part of a mission or being supervised.)
> 
> This is the inside of the theater: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_R-MS31qieg/TqtlAvoMjuI/AAAAAAAADcc/QyH1l6pMkSY/s1600/Bolshoi+Theatre+Renovation+Gala+2.png
> 
> This is what the dress that I was thinking of: https://angieandaloussi.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/19.jpg
> 
> This is the song that I am imagining: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0EVEXX9kpk

(January 3, 2001)

Jay is curled into the fetal position facing a wall in the isolation room. They always put her there after they torture her or perform some sort of operation on her. The helpers like to call it the "recovery room" which is a load of bullshit. This time they had used a whip with broken shards of glass woven into it. The idea of it still made the healing lacerations sting. She was a pitiful sight. Her beaten body shaking from the cold, flinching at any noise other than her staggered breathing, and tears gently rolling from her eyes like a still storm.

Within the past few months the stakes have been higher than ever. There were only two of fates children left. Herself and some boy from India. She can still remember what Kristanova said on their first night there. _"The point of this program is so we can train you to be the best but we only need so many. Like I said, you all could achieve greatness and be some of the best. However, I am only interested in having the best. That means we will cut down the crowd until the top two are standing and then that's when the real fun begins."_

She was sent back out on another mission last September. Lately her missions have become more and more gut-wrenching. Every single mission has required her to kill at least one innocent person and she hates herself for it. _I should just let them kill me. I shouldn't be killing those people. They don't deserve to die. I do._

Her self loathing thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the metal door being unlocked. _Fuck._

"Get up," Uries voice is harsh.

Jay begins to push herself up but she is still shaking from cold and pain making her go slower than usual.

"Get the fuck up," Urie grinds his teeth as he bends down and violently yanks Jay to her feet. 

She wanted to ask where they were going but she knows not to ask stupid questions, especially when they are aggravated. Urie drags her down to Kristanova's office, a place she has been only a few times but knows that it means something serious. He knocks on the door and waits for permission to enter. 

"Come in," Arabella chimes. _She sounds like she is in a good mood._

Urie opens the door and pushes Jay inside and down into a chair on the opposite side of Arabella's desk.

"Do not be rough with the girl you ignorant caveman! Now leave us be, I need to talk to Isabella alone," Kristanova commands. She gives him her 'try me' stare as he is about to argue with her. After Urie exits, Kristanova changes her expression from pissed to pleased which is very suspicious. "Isabella, my dear. You have grown into such a beautiful young lady," her voice is off putting.

_What the fuck is going on?_

"I remember when you were just a little girl. My, my you sure have grown up fast."

_I'm going to die aren't I?_

"You have served us well."

_I'm dead._

"That is why I would like to be the one to tell you the good news."

_What?_

Kristanova smiles, "I have received news from my higher up that you will be preforming at the Bolshoi Theater in Moscow in three days."

Jay narrows her eyes in confusion. _Preforming?_

"I am sure that I have mentioned this event in the past few years," she shifts her weight and clears her throat. "You see, it's like a competition. Our two best will be competing against each other for a better advantage. Depending on how well you do there could mean life and death."

_Doesn't everything I do mean life and death?_

"There will be actual professional performers there. Neither them nor the audience will know about our little arrangement. Well, with the exception of myself, the higher up, and a few others from the Red Room." 

Jay sits straight up in the chair, "What will I be performing?"

Kristanova smiles and lets out a fake laugh. "It's always straight down to business with you."

Jay's continuing indifference causes an awkward silence to occupy the room.

"The performance," she clears her throat again, "will be you singing your choice of a song. You can compose it yourself but that would be a huge risk."

"Are you saying that I can't handle a challenge?" Jay raises her eyebrow with a smirk.

Kristanova sheds a smirk of her own. "I know that you can. Why else would you still be here?"

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next three days Jay was allowed to spend all of her practice hours in the music rooms. Hour after hour spent scribbling down music and lyrics, harmonizing the melodies in her head, and singing the words over and over again until they were perfect. She knew that if she wanted to walk out of this alive the song had to be breath taking.

The day of the performance, Jay was taken to the theater at the escort of Kristanova and a more presentable helper than Urie. Official workers dressed in tuxes showed them around the lobby, the marble stairwells, gave a history lesson, and then finally showed them to the dressing room that Jay will be sharing with some girl from the Red Room.

"If you need anything just let someone know, Miss." The worker nodded to Jay before closing the door to the dressing room.

Arabella turned to Jay, "You need to do well. You know that, correct?"

Jay gave a nod, "Yes."

"Good. This is a life or death factor, Isabella. My job is also on the line. The higher up will be here watching. You can not mess up. Everything must be perfect, do you understand?" Kristanova's voice is stern.

Jay was dumbfounded by that statement. _Your job is on the line? My life is on the line. It has always been on the line and you have the audacity to say that to me!_

The internal rant was cut short by a harsh slap. "You will answer me Isabella," Kristanova pulled Jay closer by her coat.

The sound of the dressing room door creaking rendered any more slaps from happening. Both Jay and Kristanova looked over to see who had come in. It was a redheaded girl with a duffel bag standing in the doorway.

Kristanova let go of Jay's coat but kept close, "You will not fail me. This is too important so don't fuck it up or I will kill you myself," she hissed through gritted teeth. Kristanova straightened her back and nodded to the redheaded girl before leaving the room.

Jay continued to stand there embarrassed on the inside, but just as always, indifferent on the outside. Her stare was blank and distant until she thought she heard the girl say something.

"I'm sorry what?" Jay turned to the girl.

"My instructor does that too. You must be Isabella. I'm Natalia, but you can call me Natasha," the girl extended her hand.

Jay looked the girl up and down before shaking her hand, "Nice to meet you." She turned around and walked to her vanity mirror and sat down. 

"What are you here for?" Natasha asked as she sat down at her own vanity mirror and began to do her hair.

Jay let out a laugh, "Do you mean what I am preforming or what that threat from my instructor meant?"

"Both if you have the time and if you don't get beheaded for telling me the second one." Natasha laughed while hair spraying her perfect bun.

"Lets hope I don't get beheaded. That would kind of ruin my day."

Natasha began to laugh harder, "Maybe just a little." 

"Hey, do you want to hear the story or not? I am here for singing and depending on how I do dictates my life and my death."

Natasha nodded putting on her lipstick, "I suppose that you could say the same for me."

"Miss. Isabella," the worker peeked in the door, "you are expected on stage in 15 minuets." The gentleman taps his watch before shutting the door.

"Good thing I did my hair and makeup before hand." Jay let out a nervous laugh as she got up to get dressed. 

Minuets passed as she situated her black gown and double checked everything. Her stomach was tumbling like a washing machine. _Just breath. Everything will be fine, just_

"Breath," Natasha reminded as she laced up her own ballet slippers.

"Miss. Isabella. If you would follow me please, you are expected on in five minuets," the official stood in the doorway once again.

"Hey, good luck," Natasha offered a sincere smile to Jay.

She nodded, "Thanks. You too." 

The official guided Jay through the magnificent building until they finally reached the entrance to the stage. "Good luck Miss," he told her before going off to find the next act. _Just breath. They gave the music copies to the orchestra hours ago so they could rehearse. Everything will be just fine._ She began to hear the introduction quiet the murmuring crowd. _Okay, maybe this was a bad idea. Is it too late to run?_ The gold, silky curtains parted and exposed her to the rest of the room. _Yep, it's too late to run._

The audience was purely the rich aristocrats and upper-class of the Russian population. Not even just Russian but international riches. Royalties even sought out tonight for entertainment. All of them were dressed to the nines, decorated with unimpressed stares. It was intimidating. Kristanova was right, there was no room for error.

The mission had begun.

She saw the conductor begin to give the count off to the orchestra in the pit. The light from the grand chandelier was blinding and the silence was deafening. Then the intense music began to fill up the room. _Life or death._

She was told to sing something that would make the audience remember her and that was her full intent. Jay began to sing with all she had. The emotions began to spill from her beat after beat. Every painful moment, all the surgeries, endless torture, and memories of people that she could have sworn she had never met before opened up like a flood gate. Every chord sounded like strength. During the moment of just the choir singing in the background, something changed. She remembered. Year after year she didn't know who she really was before the fates, but now she remembers. Her name, her family, her life. She closed her eyes and drew in another breath making her voice echo through the room. Chills were sent down through every spine of every person in the room. An ice cold, electric praise pricked every last nerve. The melody of pain echoed through the room and struck everyone's heart strings. The look on her face would break your heart. The storm in her eyes finally rained gently down her cheeks. When she opened her eyes she saw Kristanova sitting in a balcony on her left. The raging storm in her grew as she eyed the source of lies with blazing daggers. As the last note left her mouth she knew that it was all over. Jay knew that she couldn't tell anyone that she remembered. She knew that she now had the power and she let it swell inside her.

The audience all rose to their feet and gave a standing ovation. They cheered and whistled through the tears that Jay had provoked from them. The gorgeous chandelier beamed like the sun and the cheers from the crowd were brilliant. The last thing that she saw before the curtains closed was Kristanova smirking from the balcony.


	17. You Will Show No Mercy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry that I've been really flaky about updating lately I have just been insanely busy and might not have much updates posted for the next few weeks. Hopefully when summer break starts and I can sit down and actually write some more.- 5/2/15)

(January 6, 2001)

Jay had remembered who she was but not the details. She knows names and faces but not their stories or connections. The ride back to the compound was unsettling. All Jay wanted to do was bash Kristanova's face in. Jay had to focus on staying still and not lunging herself at Kristanova because that could be a fatal mistake.

The compound was surrounded by tall chain-link fence with electric barbed wire lining the top. The building above ground was a decoy meant to throw any trespassers off. If they were to go into that building it would just appear to be an old wear house that was used to house sheet metal for roofing. That entrance way that Jay was shoved down into some odd years ago is accessed by an id scan and a four digit code. With the technology the compound had it made the entry way nonexistent. You had to know exactly where to look to be able to find it, that's what stopped everyone who ever made their way on to the property. They didn't know that the real sins were just underneath the concrete.

"The higher up was impressed with your performance. He preferred it over the boy's by far," Kristanova's voice was raspy with her accent. 

Jay didn't move a muscle. Her gaze was stitched with disgust and hatred for the woman. _You dirty fucking liar._

"Tomorrow is the next step for you. You and the boy will fight and you will show no mercy and nothing else. Not again," Kristanova's demand was spiteful as she recalled the event.

___________________________________________________________________________

It was when Jay was 13 and the higher up had come to check in on her progress. The helpers were usually the ones that 'disposed' of the weaker children but that day they needed to see if Jay could do it. Wrap her arms around a struggling life and just end it all with a swift snap. 

Urie had escorted Jay into the cages, which is what they called the holding cells that they would put the kids in before a fight. As the gates were drawn up she saw another girl who she had only ever seen during the first night there. When the alarm sounded off the two girls charged towards each other in the circular pit.

During the fights, the helpers would gradually throw weapons in over the ten foot walls. A knife here, a broken arrow there, and every now and again a shield. About two minuets in, Jay was able to hook her arm around the girl's neck and run up the side of the wall and drop to the other side of the girl bringing her to her knees. Now that she had a strong grip on her neck, Jay was shutting off the girls air supply making her slap against Jay's arm and release gasps like the long forgotten asthma fits.

Jay knew what she had to do but couldn't bring herself to follow through. She stood there over the girl with her arm still firmly in place but completely zoned out as she weighed the consequences.

"Finish the job, Isabella," Kristanova growled.

The threat caused Jay's grip to tighten but before she could do anything more the girl managed to choke out a request. "P-please don't kill m-me," the girl was clawing at Jay's forearm.

She let go.

The girl dropped to her hands and knees, spit and tears draining out of her face as she filled her lungs with the dingy air and then, BANG! A gun shot screamed from the chamber into the air and into the girl's temple. Behind the gun, Kristanova lowered the smoking barrel and looked to the horrified Jay with embarrassment.

Jay's gaze was fixated on the sight before her with utter despair. She could feel her sense of humanity being robbed from her as Kristanova single-handedly pinned her throat to the wall and hissed, "You made me finish your job in front of the higher up. I trained you to show no mercy. None. You are a disappointment and an embarrassment. You're lucky he needs you, or else I would kill you with my bare hands right now. No mercy."

Ever since that- incident, no fight with Jay lasted more than a minuet.

___________________________________________________________________________ 

"Do you understand, Isabella?" Kristanova drew Jay back in from the memory.

She nodded, "No mercy."


	18. A Message From Fate's Child

After leaving Kristanova's office that night, Jay lied on her bed and tried to decipher her past. Mostly, she tried to think of ways to get out of tomorrow alive.

Before sunrise Jay was already fully dressed and waiting. Waiting for Urie to fetch her and waiting for her fate. As each minuet passed she had to focus even more on her breathing to keep it under control. _I can not mess up today. It really is life or death._ Her scarred arms flexed as she tightened her grip on the bed.

The door opened and Jay lifted her head to see Urie waiting. When the two made eye contact Urie nodded. She knew what the nod meant. It was his way of asking if she was ready even though she really had no choice. Jay returned the nod and rose to her feet, frame locked. As she exited the door for the millionth time she noticed that the number four on her door was beginning to fade in color.

The two walked down the empty hallways past vacantly locked rooms. All the other kids' rooms. Well what used to be their rooms. Like always, they walked towards the stair case and then took a left. This time they weren't going to the main training room, no, they were going to the pit.

As they arrived at a larger metal door marked with the Three Fates symbol Urie spoke up. "Kristanova and the higher up will be watching. She told me to tell you not to fuck it up this time. No mercy," his accent thickened through his hiss.

With out a fracture of emotion showing Jay replies with, " Now why would I want to fuck up _her_ life?" She smirks as the doors open allowing her to enter the cage. Urie tries to yell at her but the door automatically shuts.

Jay's nerves were flying wild just like they had during her first evaluation. She could feel the weight of the impending danger of the pit. Of the possibility that she would die and never fully remember who she was. Who the people in her thoughts were. What they meant to her and what she meant to them.

Her head drained the nervous feeling as the first siren sounded. The burning of adrenaline filled her blood and coated her skin. As the second went off she squared herself in front of the unopened pit entrance. Her breaths made time move in slow motion. On the third siren the cage doors were drawn up. On her inhale Jay could see the boy from across the pit and knew that her fate was waiting. On her exhale her heart beat drummed the sound of war. _Life or death._

The final siren rung out into the air and both Jay and the boy sprinted full tilt towards each other. The boy extended his arm to the side in an attempt to deadline her but she knew that move from missions. Jay dropped and skidded on her knees under his arm and then jumped back to her feet. Before the boy could turn around she grabbed his forearm, spun him towards her, and once she controlled the wrap around her neck she knocked his legs out from under him and slammed all his weight into the ground. This knocked all of the air out of his lungs. Jay dropped down on him and got two punches in before he got his leg underneath her straddle and kicked her over him. Jay was now the one with her back to the dirt. The boy wasted no time and ran to get a broken arrow that was dropped into the pit. With this open window, Jay scrambled to her feet and charged towards him. Once she was close enough the boy spun around and managed to cut her side with the arrow tip. 

The higher up narrowed his eyes. No one in the pit was ever able to cut her like that. Kristanova internally flared at the careless mistake. Jay gripped his wrist and put pressure on his tendons making him drop the arrow. Next, she slammed her knee upwards and his arm downwards causing his forearm to shatter. She took his moments of pain as the opportunity to land a combo of a right hook, left kidney jab, and then a round house kick to his face. The boy held himself up with his one good arm. 

_Don't kill him. Don't do it. You're better than this._

The boy lunged up and made a knuckle cracking connection with her jaw. As she stumbled he kicked her in the face with his boot knocking her back. The boy pinned her throat down with his good hand. She was clawing at his forearm, choking on her aggression. She could't reach his throat and was losing oxygen fast. Jay clawed at the ground and winced as her hand was cut open by something. _The arrow._ Jay waited a few more seconds before she jabbed the arrow into the boy's side causing him to cry out in pain just like when she shattered his arm. She landed another solid upper cut and caught him by his shirt collar. When she got behind him her arm latched around his neck and she yanked him to his feet.

As she looked up she was met with the silhouette of the higher up and Kristanova in the control room. The motion of Kristanova lowering her head in an intimidating disgust made Jay cold.

With her grip still tight around the boys throat she crashed her right foot into his leg at an angle causing it to break. Another scream tried to escape his lips and the boy dropped to his knees. Jay's left hand grabbed his good wrist and she placed her foot on his elbow and pressed. The snap of it made her cringe.

It happened again. She zoned out as she recalled the girl when she was 13. All the lives she was forced to take. Years of poison coursing through her veins and infecting her heart. Every chain, whip, and knife thrashed against her skin. The gunshots to her chest when they tried to kill her. The wide awake surgeries. All of the voices that screamed threats and insults. Every time they strapped her to the table and wiped her of everything over and over again. The helpers robbing her of her innocence. The nostalgic unfamiliar voices telling her to stand tall and be the good in the world. _I don't have that choice._

Her focus zeroed in on Kristanova in the control room. Jay made direct eye contact and her gazed did something great. Kristanova was afraid of her and Jay knew it. Jay's arms tightened once more and with the force of her right hand it was all over. This was the message. The message of utter hatred. The message of you're next. Kristanova knew what it meant. Jay had made her own mission. _No mercy._


	19. Burns Mark Property

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it has taken so long for an update! My life has been pretty hellish for a while and caused me to lose my inspiration/ and motivation to write.

(January 7, 2001)

The siren blared again to mark the sign of a winner. Jay's shoulders rose and fell with intense breaths of anger. The gates were drawn up again for her to be able to exit and go into the hall way. Once she was there she was met by Urie, again, who just nodded his head for her to follow. 

Jay didn't like the thought of what could happen next. Urie pushed open the door to reveal the higher up sitting across from an empty chair. 

"Come sit, dear Isabella," his arm motioned to the adjacent chair. His voice was once again all too familiar.

Jay did as told and took her seat underneath one of the two dingy lights in the room. Although she couldn't see the higher up because his chair was just behind the line of shadows, Jay could feel his smirk. His sick, demented smirk.

"You have come so far, Isabella. You have made it to the end of our program and may I be the first to say congratulations." Jay could hear a twisted sense of pride in his voice. "I knew you would be the one to make it, I knew you were the key to our success. I will tell you again what you have heard from me plenty of times. One day you will thank me for all of this, because this right here is a service. Not just a service for you, but for the whole human race. The world is full of chaos due to so many people feeling a lack of power when there is really a lack of order. They need a system to show them the way. People like me create people like you so we can instill that order and let the world know who really holds the power. You were not chosen at random, no. You were meant to be here. Every death, every birth, every single solitary action leads to the future of the earth. Your birth, the training, the services I am providing to you is a constant for every possible outcome for the future. You were created for this and you have not failed me." As he recited his speech for the countless time Jay could follow along perfectly. For the first time she decided to do something she knew never to do. To question him.

"What do you mean I am a constant? I have heard that so many times but not a single person has explained anything to me through out my time here?" Jay's voice was level and she made sure to not sound disrespectful no matter how much she wanted to be.

"Isabella! Show some respect or else-" Kristanova was interrupted by the higher up.

"Be quiet Arabella. The girl has questions and I think it is safe to say she has earned a few answers." He turns his focus back to Jay, "Isabella, you are meant to be here. There is no outcome that could have lead you anywhere else. This was unavoidable, this is your fate."

She rose an eyebrow in question, "How do you know that there was no other way? Millions upon millions of outcomes have happened since my birth, how could this never change? How do you know?" Jay's words flow with such ease it is obvious she has thought this very conversation through.

"There is an algorithm that can calculate the future of every single individual based on their past and their present. The program has been run numerous times and every time, every single time this has been your future. You were no mistake. The universe functions with you as part of it. God made you before birth, but I my child, have recreated you." His voice was so certain, so vain.

Jay's train of thought composed of disbelief at what he just told her came to a stop at a certain noise. It was the sound of sizzling metal. She turned her head to look be hind her and saw Urie approaching with a branding iron.

Jay turned her head back to the higher up as he began to speak again, "I requested your system name to be Nightshade. Do you know why that is?" She figured his question was rhetorical.

Next came Urie's voice, "Don't scream unless you want me to shove this down your throat." Jay caught another glimpse of the branding iron. It was the bio hazard symbol with a small Three Fates symbol in the middle.

The scorching metal lit up the skin just above the base of her neck. Self-smothered cries of pain escaped her gritted teeth.

The sick voice of the boss filled the air again, "I named you that because every aspect of the nightshade plant can be deadly, just like you. The plant is versatile and has many uses but with the same effects." Jay's focus was torn between her digging her nails into her legs to keep her from belting a scream and what he was telling her. "So beautiful and so deadly, my Bella Donna. I want that to be known. People will know who you are from your mark, they will know that you belong to me. That I am the one responsible for creating one of the world's deadliest living weapons. You are my property." A twisted dominance and arrogance marked his tone. He rose to his feet and began to walk to the door before a mumble caught his attention.

"You fucking son of a bitch." Jay exhaled quietly.

The higher up turned on his heel, shocked. "What was that?"

Jay released a cynical laugh as she stood to face the still faceless man, "I said you fucking son of a bitch." Her head tilted with hysteria emerging, "I am not your property."

The higher up's voice grew aggravated at her sudden defiance, "Then explain that mark, explain how I have had you here for years, explain to me how I was able to erode your very being only to build you the way I wanted you to be!" 

The pitiful aggravation fueled her, "I am a constant, remember? I am meant to be here." Jay's voice was purely condescending as she took slow steps in his direction. "You said so yourself that I am one of the deadliest living weapons in the world. Why create a weapon so deadly when it can still defy you."

The higher up scoffed, "Are you trying to intimidate me? I am not afraid of you, you miserable bitch."

She let out another laugh, "I don't need to try. You may be able to fool yourself into thinking you aren't afraid of me but I know that you and everyone else in this building is. Everyone creates some kind of monster, but you have made the mistake of making yours a living nightmare." 

Jay was just within five feet of him before she was knocked over her head with the butt of Kristanova's gun. Kristanova knew that Jay was right but the fact that the higher up looked pale after the close advances made by her confirmed it. He knew that every word she had said was true. There was no way in hell he could win in a fight against her, the only thing he had was a power play. What he didn't know, however, was how long he could hold that over her head.


	20. News

(January 7, 2001)

Months had passed since the last sign of hope for finding Jay had surfaced and faded. Everyone had soon moved on from the idea of finding her, most believed that she was dead no matter what Henley said. 

Whether he wanted to or not, Coulson eventually had to move past the 'obsession' of finding his daughter. Alexander Pierce had to sit down with him and tell him that he had no other option except to just continue on with his life. Coulson still tried. He researched, made phone calls, and investigated for anyway to get to her. No one knows the last time he slept through the night and neither does he. Year after year he still managed to keep his own mission alive. To find her. There were times when he found himself sitting in his home office at some ungodly hour, staring blankly at the walls tacked with locations and possibilities where he began to think what's the use? He was still efficient at his job but it didn't hold the same amount of fulfillment as it used to.

A week into the New Year and it only took one mistake to out the fact that Jay was definitely still alive. The annual performance night at the Bolshoi Theater was always a headliner over in Russia and they had also slipped their way into the international news. That night was a balance of professionals and amateurs. Never did any news of a performance/ performer surface because no filming was allowed inside the theater. But this time it turned out a little differently. Every single person that had attended raved about the mystery girl in black.

"I have never seen someone be able to sing with such intense emotion, such raw power, and so much agony and sorrow. It makes you stop to think what that girl has seen in her lifetime." A woman from Britain had said to the press. It was just a matter of time before one good quality picture leaked into the media and sank the ship for the Fates.

As usual, Coulson was one of the first to arrive in the morning but he had also neglected to watch the news. Phil was seated at his desk looking over some papers he needed to sign when he heard the sound of someone running down the hall. The last thing Coulson expected was for Fury to bust through the doors with what looked to be hope.

"Coulson, you were right. She's still alive. Jay is alive and in Russia." Fury panted out with a sense of enlightened relief. "You know the annual performance of the Bolshoi Theater, right? Well anyways Jay performed there and it has made international news." Fury began to walk towards Phil's desk, "She is alive and out there."

Coulson's mind buffered. Fury turned on the news to show him himself. Jay was alive. She was in the news and they knew that she was in Russia.

"The news broke a few hours ago so I have had a team working on getting me the security footage from the theater since I found out. Perez got a hit on the licence plate for the car Jay was seen arriving and leaving in. It's registered as a work truck for a warehouse not far from Moscow. The thing is that warehouse has been shutdown for years now and is in the middle of nowhere." Fury set a file down on Coulson's desk.

"The people that took her needed a safe place to lay low, off surveillance, and out of the way. They didn't bother using a personal vehicle because that could be a dead give away to who is associated with it." Coulson stood with rising excitement. "But a warehouse is not a big enough compound to train the amount they needed effectively."

"That's what I was thinking but I looked into it just a little bit more and this sight was seen under construction by a satellite back in '91. Just three years before Jay was taken. The odd thing is that from the photos it shows that they weren't putting the warehouse itself under construction but rather digging." Nick shuffles through several aerial overviews of the land.

"They built an underground bunker using the warehouse as a cover. If they built it correctly the compound wouldn't be detected by any radars, thermals, or physical sweeps through the area." Coulson's heart was bursting at the seams with how much joy he felt at the moment. After all these years, they finally knew where she was.

"I have two jets loaded with 15 men each. We are flying out immediately under the mission of reunite." Fury extends an earpiece to Coulson, "Now lets go get her back."


	21. Invade and Stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Each body is born into this world an empty canvas untouched by outside forces where overtime it is made into a masterpiece, but she was no work of art. She was far more. Her body was chiseled from the purest and smoothest marble only to be tainted by the foul hands of her keepers. Her bones were forged from steel only to be bent at the whim of others. Her blood was gathered from rivers of crimson light only to be ruined by toxic inks of the shadows. Her voice was once that of an angel and is now only desperation flowing from a lost soul. Her soul was blown from glass only to be shattered into a mosaic of tragedies. Her heart was fiercer than that of a lioness but was pitied to that of a lamb. The keepers laughed at their handy work. Those fools. All they did was melt beauty into rage._ -S.S. (me)

(Just outside the 'warehouse' airspace in Russia.)

Coulson's stomach was in a thousand knots as millions of thoughts banged around in his head. "What if we can find her in time? What if they moved her to a new base? What if the second we break through the walls they kill her?" Phil was in cold sweats as the jet hit turbulence.

Fury was sharing similar feelings, but this was Coulson's daughter. The amount of worry, stress, and heartbreak that his friend has dealt with for years is beyond his imagination. "Phil, don't worry. She's in there and we are going to get to her. We will take out everyone else in there, get her on board, and take her home. All systems have been tapped and will be within our control with the press of a button. This is going to work, we will get her back. I promise." Fury placed his hand on Coulson's shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze. 

Coulson nodded at his friend's reassurance, "Thank you, Nick. Its just been so long, you know? With the things they have been doing to her who knows wha-"

"Coulson." Nick interrupted Phil, "Lets go get your daughter back." He then turned his attention to the rest of the jet. "You all know what to do! Once we break through those walls shoot anything that moves as long as it's not Jay. Don't give them anytime to regroup or even speak. You light the bastards up." Fury shouted to the agents on board and into the radio communicating with the other. 

All of the agents nodded knowing that they had one good shot at this and they could not mess up in any way.

"Alright, loop their security footage and open the back hatch. We are approaching the mark."

The tech agent had tapped the bases electric and security footage after several radar sweeps. Everyone else had strapped on their parachutes and were prepared head to toe for what was to come. One by one they fell out of the sky under the cover of night just within the treeline of the warehouse. It took seven radar scans to detect the entrance but once it was located they swarmed the perimeter like ants.

Coulson was the first to find the entrance on foot. "Disable the systems in three, two, one." He whispered through his earpiece. As soon as the sound of the air-release lock reached his ears it was go time.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It felt as if Jay had been knocked over the head with an anvil. She tried to blink away the throbbing behind her eyes but just like always it remained in place. Her eyes eased open enough for her to realize where she was. Room 21. Some of the most painful and traumatic experiences have occurred in here. Jay knew that she was about to have a torture session but this time was different. She was getting punished for defiance and she knew it was going to be hell.

Two workers began to pull the chains that Jay's wrists were fastened to. The system was rigged so that she was in the dead center of the room and the chains where looped through a set of metal rings at the tops of the left and right walls. As the chains were pulled farther back they were then set in place on two sets of hooks so the desired amount of slack, if any, would stay. The workers then moved in on her and shackled her feet to the floor so that her body formed an x. The large metal door behind her opened, closed, and locked as a third helper entered. 

Jay could hear the congregated whispers but couldn't understand what they were saying. Her throat began to close up and her heart thrashed against her insides in some sort of desperation to escape.

A worker moved in front of her with a pair of scissors and smirked as he began to cut into the fabric of her shirt. He cut a straight line up to the collar and then cut each sleeve the same way so that the shirt would drop to the floor leaving her torso almost completely exposed. The other two helpers closed in on her, one began to grab at her and the other whispered foul things to her. The actions made Jay's insides twist with disgust and helplessness. As the helpers moved away it allowed the harsh florescent lighting to highlight the countless scars carved into her skin. Some were deep and curved while others were smooth and shallow.

The workers had lined up an array of methods that would make anyone cringe. Glass woven whips, rusty chains, crowbars, brass knuckles, adhesive electrodes, knives, and mixed chemicals to be poured onto the open wounds. Just to name a few. Hours of torture soon ensued. Vicious screams made Jay's throat raw as the helpers took turns doing their worst. 

The workers pounded their fists and weapons into her sides, cracking her rib cage and bruising her worn skin. They bashed the bones in her legs, arms, and even her face. Extreme amounts of electricity surged from the electrodes into her body. Jay twisted and pulled as hard as she could in the confines trying to somehow get away. The waves of high voltage energy would freeze her frame with her eyes rolling back into her skull or they would make her body jolt uncontrollably. They beat her so ruthlessly that her screams where no longer screams but just desperate noises followed by streams of crimson. Jay became weaker with every strike and soon the only thing that was keeping her upright were the suspended shackles. Thoughts flowed incoherently in and out of Jay's head. Fragments of her past flashed before her. The statement "always stand up" pounded against her conscience again and again. Memories of moments like this made her feel two things. Horror and immeasurable rage. 

The helpers had began to leave the room when they heard the shackles move. They didn't think anything of it until the whole room shook. Each of them looked at one another and then to Jay who was still dangling by her wrists. One of the men walked over to the chains and unhooked them causing her to flop to the floor. They all laughed at the sight but quickly silenced themselves as she feebly pushed herself onto her hands and knees. Her whole current state was weakening and she knew that she would soon pass out from the unbearable pain but she had to try, try to stand back up. This sight pissed off one of the helpers.

"Stay down you pathetic bitch," he demanded.

Jay's breaths were inconsistent and shallow, "No." She defied as more blood drained from her mouth.

With gritted teeth the helper snatched up the crowbar and began to rush towards her.

Jay's head began to pulse a crippling rhythm that made her vision blur. The outline of the man was beginning to grow fuzzy. When he reached a swinging distance, Jay braced herself for the impact of metal and bone. Instead she was met with a deafening explosion that blew open the door to the room and knocked her over. Rapid gunfire sprayed into the air rattling her focus. Voices filled the space around her shouting indistinguishable statements that made her ears ring. Various figures closed in causing the panic inside her to overflow, and just like that the world once again went dark.


	22. Familiar Faces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry that I haven't been updating as often as I would like to. I might be able to add one more chapter before I start school back up again (because summer reading etc) but once school starts I can't guarantee much. This year's schedule will be interesting to say the least, but I will still update whenever I can. And if you made it this far into the story then you deserve an award.

_Jay found herself laying down, surrounded by nothing but darkness. It was the kind of dark where you couldn't even see your hand right in front of your own face. Everything about the situation made her stomach churn. " Where did they take me?" She questioned herself, or at least she thought she did. Her inner thoughts were then heard echoing into the shadows. Soon her voice was no longer the only thing she could hear. A warped voice rang out all around her._

_"Is that a little girl?" Jay shuttered in uttered fear, "No, no, no, no, no. This can't be happening, not again." She scrambled on to her knees and whipped her head around trying to locate the voices._

_The little girl's voice called out again this time followed by a man's. A dim glow broke the darkness from behind Jay. The voices grew clearer as her heart rate grew more rapid. Jay slowly rose to her feet and twisted around, praying that it wasn't what she though it was. The view was distant but familiar. It was a man sitting in the driver's side of a car and a shivering, dainty girl in the passenger's seat._

_"Is that- is that me?" Jay furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head. Her breaths became more shallow as she tried to focus in on the conversation._

_"What? Why are you running away?" A man in a crisp, snow dotted suit asked the little girl._

_"The Blares don't love me." The girl's voice was almost smaller than her as she clutched a yellow stuffed bunny to her chest._

_Jay's eyes widened at the name. "The Blares." Jay mouthed it out like she had the foul taste of vinegar caught on her tongue. Bitter. That was the only thing she could think of when she heard that name._

_The small peep of her younger self's voice caught her attention again. "They hit me. A lot. They also... call me worthless and a mistake. They say that they wish they would have never gotten me. They yell at me and say that I'm nothing."_

_Jay could feel the strain in her throat and tears pricking her eyes just as she had that night. Those words felt as if they had been shot out of a canon and launched right into her heart. "Worthless. Mistake. Nothing." Those were some of the nicer words that Kristanova and the helpers used on her. It was the fact that she had been called those things at such a young age that made her knees weak. Skinny streams of tears began to make their way down her cheeks._

_More voices filled the void but these weren't coming from the room, or what she thought was a room. Indistinguishable murmurs warped in and out of both her ears at off set times. The dim glow of the room vanished as if it were a single flame that had been blown out._

"When do you think she will wake up," asked the voice on her left side.

"Shouldn't be too long from now. When she does wake up press the nurse button so I can come and check on her, okay?" This response seemed to come from her right side. After a moment of silence, spare the sound of exiting footsteps and machines, the voice on her right spoke up again. "Agent, when she does wake up she will be on an edge and might even try something violent. You also shouldn't expect her to remember you or even stay awake for very long." 

Jay remained still for what seemed to be hours, hoping that she was now the only one left in the room. Opening her eyes felt like she was trying to pry open a locked chest. The harsh sting of the florescent lighting didn't exactly help the discomfort of her dry, throbbing eyes. Part of her expected to be back at the compound of the Three Fates, but the other part of her knew she wasn't. Her half lidded eyes scanned the room to find that she was in an actual hospital and not some make shift laboratory. Every part of her body ached just as it usually did. 

Jay began to lift up her right arm in an attempt to rub her eyes but she could barely get her arm six inches off the bed. She closed her eyes and let her arm rest for about ten seconds before she tried again, this time she noticed the feeling of actual restraint. Jay's eyes flew open and she looked down at her wrists and saw that she was handcuffed to the hospital bed. The fight or flight instinct burst throughout her body as she began to frantically pull and tug against the handcuffs. 

"Doctor! The patient is awake and trying to run!" A small woman in scrubs shouted from just outside the door. 

This set off every alarm in Jay's body and immediately she began to pull as hard as she could against the restraints. She tried to lift her legs and place them against the foot of the bed for leverage but they had just as much freedom as her arms.

A doctor in a white coat rushed into the room followed by one nurse and three men dressed in black combat wear. "It's okay! You're back home, you're safe!" The doctor approached the bed with her hands up trying to act as if she meant no harm.

But Jay has seen that move before and it always lead to her being strapped down to an operating table or worse. "Get away from me!" She hissed through her hoarse voice and began to thrash wildly in fierce struggle to escape.

One of the men dressed in black stepped in front of the doctor blocking her off. "Ma'am this asset is extremely dangerous, you should not approach her until she will cooperate with us."

"This patient is confined to the bed by four sets of hand cuffs, I think I will be fine." The doctor tried to push past the man but he wouldn't budge.

"Ma'am I am fully aware of her restraints. What I am not fully aware of is what those people did to her and what affects they may have." 

The two other agents moved in, one stood at her head and the other at her feet. The one pinned down her shoulders and the other her knees. 

Jay was screaming full throttle, twisting violently under their grips. "GET OFF OF ME! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! SOMEONE HELP ME, PLEASE!" She sobbed for help something she stopped doing long ago but this situation made her panic skyrocket. She was obviously no longer in the Fate's hands but this had the potential to be worse.

Her frantic pleas were heard all the way from the elevator that Coulson and Fury were stepping out of. They both stood still, caught off guard by what they heard but then raced down the hall when they saw every agent stationed on the floor pile into her room. 

"What is going on?" Coulson shouted, terrified as to what he might see when he shoves his way in. The sight both enraged him and broke his heart. His little girl that had been missing for over seven years was now screaming and thrashing like a wild animal desperate to get out of a hunter's trap. The look in her eyes was that of a feral animal and that felt like a shot to the heart.

"Get away from her!" Fury boomed causing everyone in the room to promptly back away from the bed. 

Jay had stopped screaming when they backed away but continued in her attempts to escape. Jay's heart was going 90 to nothing, hair in a mess, and her chest was heaving in order to get all the air it could. She had stopped pulling all together when she noticed the man from her 'dream'. The look in her eyes went from untamed to desperate. She was giving him a silent plea just as she had that night years ago.

The familiar sound of a gun cocking snapped her out of staring and she began to dart her focus all around the room trying to identify the direct threat.

"Put all of your weapons away now!" Fury shouted once again. 

"But sir, the asset was in a frenzy. We needed to be ready to tanquali-"

"Let me just get a few things clear. She is not an asset, she is a human being so treat her like one. The reason she was acting in such a manner was because she just woke up handcuffed to a bed in an unfamiliar setting with a bunch of people yelling at her and pinning her down." Nick's pitched lowered to a deep growl aimed directly at the agent that possessed the loaded tranq gun. "Now everyone get out of here."

One by one each agent filed out of the room and back into the halls both scared and embarrassed by what had just happened. Jay noticed that yet again everyone followed the man with an eye patch's commands. He was the one in charge around here and he seemed to be on her side. She made the mental note that that could work to her advantage. As Jay's heart rate began to decrease to a normal pace and her mind became a little bit clearer she realized that he was also a very familiar face. "Am I really home?" She questioned to herself, "Do I even have a home?"

The two remaining men stepped closer, not by much, but only one of them spoke. "Jay, honey. Do you remember us?" Coulson stepped forward a little bit more with one hand raised just like the doctor had done. 

Jay stared back at him with her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth slightly agape. She had never been in a situation like this before. She knows for a fact that she knows him and has seen him before, but somewhere in the back of her mind she was telling herself that it was all a trap. That this was far from what it seemed.

The man with the eye patch put his hand on the others shoulder, "Coulson, the doctors said that she most likely won't remember much or even anything." His voice was hushed for once. 

"Nick, I know what they said but just hold on. I have to try." Coulson's eyes were bloodshot as he turned his focus back to Jay.

Jay examined his face and body language. Half of him was tired and relieved and the other seemed to be desperate. Desperate for her to remember him in some way. He held so much hope, hope that was tinged with the fear of her never remembering. She cast her eyes down, "Coulson?" His name was a pondering question that she once knew the answer to but was now just a feeling. A feeling of overwhelming nostalgia. "Coulson."

"Yes." His voice cracked when she turned her line of sight back to him. Tears of joy began to roll slowly out of his eyes. 

Jay took a deep inhale as she tried to figure out how to tell him that she knows she knows him but she doesn't really remember him. "Coulson," she began again this time her throat tightened up and newly surfacing tears started to sting her eyes. This oh so familiar man was wearing his heart on his sleeve and that made her feel something, but she wasn't quite sure what to call it. "I know that I know you. You look and sound familiar. You both do, it's just that I don't know how I know you. I don't remember who you are to me or who I am to you." Her gaze dropped once again at the sudden emptiness, "I don't even know who I am." 

Coulson let out a soft laugh. That was something. She knows that she knows him and that made him feel the happiest he's been in years. "Well, that's a start." 


	23. If this is a Dream, Don't Pinch Me

After the scene that was caused by Jay waking up, Fury went out into the hall way to call Peggy. Peggy went home immediately crying tears of absolute gratefulness. Seven years drudged along and now it was really happening. Jay was brought home and that made her feel about a thousand emotions at once. Peggy was now scrambling together anything she could bring to the hospital to try and jog Jay's memory. Scrapbooks, drawings, letters, her favorite blanket but there was something Peggy was forgetting but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She looked around her living room to see if she could bring any other things that could be a reminder or if she had neglected to put something in one of the boxes. Her eyes focused in on a framed photo on her bookshelf of her and Jay building a snowman. Jay's first ever snowman on the first night that she had ever spent at Peggy's house. She shed a smile at the photograph and then noticed that Jay was holding something yellow. "Bonnie! Of course, how could I have forgotten." Peggy rushed over to her landline and dialed Fury's number. "Nick, it's me. I will be on my way shortly I just need to make a quick stop by Phil's house to grab something for Jay."

Nick furrowed his eyebrows, "What are you getting-" his question was cut short by her hanging up the line. He figured that she always had a good reason so there was no real reason to question her, especially now. Fury walked back into the room and saw Coulson leaning forward in the chair on the left side of Jay's bed. He smiled at the sight of it; the back of his mind said it was a dream, to good to be true but he decided to listen in on the two of them instead. 

"So I was adopted by the Blares but not really?" 

Coulson nodded in response, "It's a little hard to follow but yeah. Trust me I wasn't exactly pleased by this information either."

"If they wanted something material out of having a child you would think they would claim to be foster parents so that way they would at least get paid." Jay looked unimpressed by the whole idea. "You said that Peggy is the one that found this out," her tone drew to a question.

"Yes, that's right. She faked being a judge to get them to confess over the phone. Your godmother was actually really humored by it all." Coulson chuckled, remembering Peggy constantly muttering insults about the 'bloody heathens'.

"How is our patient feeling?" The doctor from earlier knocked on the door frame with a cautious smile forced onto her face. 

Jay knew that she was back home with people she should feel comfortable around but that didn't mean she trusted this doctor. This woman was a new face entirely and Jay doesn't exactly have the best history with people running tests on her. "I have a headache," Jay replied blandly.

The doctor cleared her throat, "Is that- is that all?" 

"You're the doctor, shouldn't you know what my injuries are?" Jay looked the obviously nervous woman up an down.

"Jenavieve-" Coulson began but was shut off by a small laugh.

"It's quite alright Phil. Um, yes I do know your injuries as a matter of fact. You have a mild concussion, four fractured ribs, a fractured tibia, there are slightly infected burns on the back of your neck from what appears to be from a branding iron, your nose is broken, you are suffering from dehydration and the early stages of starvation, you have temporarily damaged vocal cords, and not to mention the excessive amounts of lacerations and bruises covering your entire body." The doctor came off as condescending and that annoyed Jay. "Also the blood work we did while you were asleep shows that you have an unhealthy amount of foreign chemicals not only in your blood streams but throughout your whole body. We considered trying blood transfusions but a specialist said that it would only make you ill. I'm surprised that you don't have any more injuries considering what the agents told me they saw in the room you were in."

Dr. Graceson, according to her name tag, was beginning to aggravate Jay. Jay tilted her head and looked at the doctor with a belittling smile, "Is that so? Well then I guess you caught me on a good day." It took a significant amount of energy to hold back all the comments she wanted to make regarding Dr. Graceson. Jay thought back to room 21. When the team of agents had found her, the helpers were no where near done with her. They were caught during a shift change. Considering that she had disrespected and made hostile advances towards the higher up Jay had only endured maybe a fifth of her punishment. 

"I meant no disrespect to you. I was just informing you of your injuries." The woman apologized through her copper eyes. Her demeanor was now genuine but she was still a person in a medical position and Jay didn't like that. 

Dr. Graceson proceeded to conduct a standard check up. Asking what level of discomfort Jay was feeling, changing bandages, adjusting IV's, etc... Jay's favorite part of the check up was when it was over and the doctor left the room again. 

In the middle of the said procedure, Fury went to the parking garage to help Peggy with the boxes of various memory aids. "You weren't kidding when you said you would bring anything that you though would help her remember."

"Well, I am a little overwhelmed at the moment in case you haven't noticed." Peggy shifted a box in her arms.

"Aren't we all... She remembers somethings like our names and faces, she is also beginning to remember some connections." Nick begins to explain as the two navigate their way through the halls of the hospital. 

"This could be a long process or a short one, none of us can be entirely sure. This won't be easy though I can tell you that. We are going to get lashed out at verbally or physically, there will be reoccurring intense nightmares, PTSD, there may even be days where she wakes up and has no clue what's going on because it's not on her schedule. We have her back now though and that's what counts." Peggy's heels click in rhythm with her quick strides.

"I just hope that she is able to fully trust us again. I mean the conditions they had her in were- sickening to say the least." Fury gulps, disgusted by what he had seen in that compound.

"I would have liked to have been there to help kick the bloody bastards myself, but someone neglected to invite me." Peggy glances at the director out of the corner of her eye.

Fury sighs, "Agent Carter once I found out the news I just grabbed a team as fast as I could in order to get to her. When I heard that you were in a meeting I decided we didn't have the time to spare."

The two started to head down the hallway of the ICU where Jay had been placed. "You very well know that I would have dropped anything and everything to be apart of that mission." Peggy's tone grows acutely resentful.

Nick made her stop just a few yards short of Jay's room, "Peggy, I am sincerely sorry. Everything was so chaotic that I forgot to take everything into consideration."

Peggy looked to Fury and then to the ground. "I didn't mean to sound so harsh. Like I said I'm overwhelmed," she shifts her weight anxious about walking in and seeing Jay again. She was afraid of what she would see. Fury had said that what he saw sickening and she doesn't doubt it. 

"Come on," Nick nudged Peggy with his arm and nodded his head in the direction of her room. 

The anxiousness made her stomach ache and her throat tighten, she could already feel the tears forming in her eyes. She squared herself off and took a deep breath before silently following Nick towards Jay's room.

Shortly after the doctor had left the room Jay slipped into a nap, dog tired from absolutely everything that has occurred. Coulson remained seated on her left and was leaning forward with his forearms on the bed railing to hold her hand. Despite the fact that she was covered head-to-toe in deep gashes and vibrant bruises she managed to look somewhat peaceful as she slept. Phil just sat there in complete awe of it all. "This has to be a dream but if it is no one better pinch me," he thought to himself. There weren't any words that could properly describe the way he feels. Two steady streams of tears rolled from his relieved eyes as he thanked God for having his daughter back. For him having another chance to hold her hand and hear her voice. He wanted to make things right, to try and help her through it all, and to be her father once again. Just him watching her sleep made everything become so real. Jay was home again and he wasn't going to let go of her, not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally forced myself to sit still and write today after going through and editing the other chapters. (Mostly for grammar but I did reword a few things here and there.) I will most likely post another chapter tomorrow if I don't end up getting busy. (idk if that was grammatically correct but...) Thank you guys for the kudos and for reading this far, I really hope that you are enjoying it! If you have any comments or suggestions let me know. (Even though I have pretty solid/ thought out timeline for it all) I should probably mention again that school starts up in just a few days and that my schedule will be hectic this year but I will try to update as much as I can. Thank you so much again and I hope you like it!


	24. Calling In a Favor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I this past year has been, to say the least, hell. I never had a solid moments peace to just sit down and write. Summer time again and hopefully that means I can actually sit down and write some more. I hope this chapter isn't utterly terrible but I am just getting back into the swing of things. (I did reread the whole piece to get back my idea of where this was headed instead of just diving in.) I hope you enjoy, and as always if you have any comments or ideas feel free to let me know!

The next few weeks consisted of both physical and mental recoveries for Jay and it was obvious to everyone that the latter would take much more patience and effort. Even though Jay knew she could relax now that she was back in safe hands, the paranoia was still very much prevalent. In the back of her mind she kept thinking that this was some sort of test or an illusion being produced by new equipment back at the Fates. Jay didn't open up or reveal much at all, which was anticipated but still disappointing for the others. She couldn't remember much either, just big picture things such as: who Coulson, Peggy, and Fury were; that she was picked on as a kid; and some other basic facts about her long forgotten life.

Despite her numerous broken bones and other gruesome injuries, Jay's physical recovery was faster than anticipated by a considerable amount of time.

"Your recovery time just doesn't make any sense. You should be weeks behind, still feeling a lot of pain, bones still broken, lacerations still healing. This is impossible." Dr. Graceson marveled at Jay's most recent medical examinations, conducted the day prior.

"I have always healed this fast. Well at least from the time they started experimenting on me." Jay furrowed her brow and shrugged her shoulders. Before she could recall any of the memories of the experiments Coulson spoke up.

"Experiments? They experimented on you?" He leaned forward in his chair slightly horrified at this newly given information.

"Constantly." Her lips pursed and she clenched her teeth.

"Jenavieve, what kind of experiments did they conduct on you?" The doctor asked deliberately, slowly approaching the foot of the hospital bed.

Jay shook her head at the unpleasantness that this discussion would provoke, "I'm not sure. They didn't tell me much, just that it was genetic experimentation. They were trying it on me because they expected me to survive it."

Coulson's voice dropped to a low hush filled with disbelief, "Genetic experimentation?"

Jay nodded staring at the foot of her hospital bed with reflective concentration. "They wanted me to be powerful. The most powerful thing ever created. They started with high hopes and when things appeared to not work they got frustrated. I'm sure that eventually the testing just occurred out of spite, because they knew it was unbearably painful."

"So these experiments didn't work?" Dr. Graceson cocked her head to the side, trying to piece it together.

"I didn't say that," Jay flicked her gaze up to the doctor's, "I said _appeared to_."

"So they did work?" Coulson interjected at that wearily vague comment.

Jay's focus shifted to the foot of the bed again, "Not to the extent they would have liked."

"Jenavieve, you are going to have to be more specific." The doctor's tone was growing fearful.

Jay didn't reply but just continued to stare, thinking of the countless times she laid on those metal lab tables, strapped down, enduring immeasurable pain. It disgusted, outraged, saddened, and scared her.

"Jenavieve," the doctor repeated again. Jay's eyes flicked back up and met Graceson's, "I need you to tell me what you meant. You have to explain what you meant."

Jay furrowed her brow, "I'm not sure. I don't know how far it goes."

The doctor straightened up and caste a worried glance at Coulson who returned the expression.

"I blocked it out. Or I blacked out." Jay shook her head, having trouble pondering which was the truth.

Coulson rose to his feet and made a slight hand motion towards Dr. Graceson as if to say 'Don't ask anymore about it.'

Graceson forced a fake smile across her face, "Well that's alright. Something we can conclude from this is that you have an accelerated recovery rate which seems to be a positive thing."

Jay was silent for a few moments, "Yeah, I suppose so." Her voice was still distant, partially lost in thought.

Coulson walked over to the doctor, "Take her mind off of it, talk to her about the world today. Catch her up on current events, the positive or neutral ones. I have to call in a favor."

Coulson began to leave the room when he heard the doctor ask, "So, Jenavieve. Do you know who our current president is?"

Jay looked up, "Yes." Her expression was deadpan making the doctor extremely uncomfortable.

"Oh," Graceson laughed nervously, "that's good."

Coulson just shook his head on the way out into the hallway, slightly bemused but mostly highly concerned with what Jay had just mentioned. He took a left down the long hallway before making another left and stopped in front of the window by the elevators. Paying little attention to the overcast, he pulled his phone out of his suit pocket and began to dial a number of someone he believed could help. He just didn't know if they would. The phone began to ring and just before Coulson figured he would get the answering machine a man answered. "Hello?"

"Dr. Banner? This is Agent Phil Coulson with SHIELD. I need to talk to you about a very important matter."

"Along what lines?" Banner sounded slightly skeptical.

"I know that you are brilliant in the field of nuclear physics, but you are also skilled in medical science as well, correct?" Coulson crossed his free arm across his chest.

"That's correct, although I don't highly advise you in asking me to perform a triple bypass on anyone." Banner gave a small laugh at his own joke.

"Do you happen to know anything about genetic experimentation?" Coulson raised an eyebrow as he listened to the other end of the line fall unexpectedly silent. "Dr. Ban-"

"What is this?" Banner's voice was quick and sharp.

"Dr. Banner I-"

"If this is some government ploy to get me into help them in some sort of sick human violation testing in hopes of gaining some sort of edge-"

"Dr. Banner this matter concerns my daughter," Coulson cut Bruce's rant short. "I assure that this isn't _our_ attempt to gain human super-weapons."

"What do you mean 'our'." He sounded concerned and intrigued.

Coulson gave a quick glance behind him as one of the elevators dinged and an elderly couple departed on to the floor and down the hall.

"This isn't something that should be discussed over the phone. Are you anywhere near D.C.?"

"I-I am in New York City at the moment. What did you mean by-" Banner began to stammer.

"Good, stay there and meet me at Brooksfield's restaurant for lunch at one o'clock."

"Agent, could you please explain to me what's going on-" Coulson hung up the line as he started back towards Jay's room. As Coulson walked through her room's door he picked up on the last bit of Jay's and Dr. Graceson's conversation.

"Of course I know who the Rolling Stones are. When exactly do you think I went missing?" Jay looked slightly offended by the doctor's previous question.

"Mhm," he cleared his throat to get both of their attention. "I have to leave to meet someone for a last minuet meeting." He kissed Jay on the forehead which was still slightly uneasy for her but Coulson didn't know. "I should be back around here no later that five."

"Alright, have fun at your meeting." Jay called out to him as he exited the room.

Coulson couldn't help but smile as he listened to the fading voices of the doctor and his daughter and whatever they were bickering about. She was home, and that was all that mattered to him but he had to know what those monsters did to her and he fully intended to find out. On his way to his SUV in the hospital parking garage Phil pulled out his phone and called Fury.

"Coulson, how is Jay?" Nick sounded subtly delighted in being able to ask that question.

Coulson unlocked his car door, "That's what I was calling you about. She just shared some news with the doctor and I."

"Is everything okay?" Fury's voice grew more cautious.

Phil let out a sigh, "I'm not sure. I am going to go meet up with someone in New York that may hopefully be able to help us."

Nick dropped his volume, "Phil, what is going on? Who are you going to meet and why?"

The line was silent for a few moments, "Jay told us that while she was in that God forsaken place they conducted experiments on her." The strain in his voice forced him to take a deep breath.

"What kind of experiments?"

"Genetic. And wasn't done just a few times but apparently it was constant. She can't remember the exact goal of it she just knows they wanted her to be powerful and that could mean many things." Phil closed his eyes and shook his head as he tried not to think of all the frightening possibilities.

"Son of a-," Fury was obviously displeased. A few seconds passed before he whispered, "You don't think they were trying to recreate what the Germans did, do you?"

"I think what they were trying to do was far beyond that. Make her more powerful than Rogers ever was. They wanted something unimaginable. That's why I am going to meet Dr. Bruce Banner, to see if he can help us figure out just how far they succeeded." Coulson stared out of the windshield at nothing in particular.

"Do you think that Banner could actually help? He is a nuclear physicist."

"I know Nick, but considering the circumstances I think he is our safest bet." Coulson started the car engine, "I should be back in D.C. around five, no later than six. Please have a jet prepared for me when I get to headquarters. I'm on my way."

"Of course." Fury hung up the line.

The whole drive back to the Triskelion Coulson was just trying to not let his imagination get the best of him. But this was his daughter, she was taken from him, robbed of her youth and innocence and now he finds out the fucking bastards genetically experimented on a child. The thought made him sick to his stomach and filled with utter contempt.

"Your pilot is prepped and ready for take off." Agent Castillo nodded to Coulson as he walked through the hanger's security entrance.

Coulson boarded through the back of a new quinjet and closed the hatch before making his way to the copilot seat.

"All ready, sir?" Agent Mendoza turned to him as she began the standard take off procedure.

"You have no idea." He was ready to get some answers, not just for himself but for Jay. She must be secretly scared out of her mind, not knowing what they did to her, what it did to her. Most of all he just hoped that this trip would not be a waste of time.


	25. Banner's Bargain

Coulson was anxious the entire flight to New York. He could help but letting his mind wander from time to time. He went from being a man that never got nervous to the father that can't help but worry about his daughter. Having children does that to someone I suppose. They landed in a private hanger designated for SHIELD before loading into a car with another agent. "Brooksfields please." Coulson adjusted his suit jacket.

"Yes sir, Agent Coulson." It was the voice of a young woman, and a familiar one at that.

Coulson looked into the rear view mirror and saw a face he hadn't seen in ages. "Maria, is that you?"

Maria let out a warm laugh, "Yes sir it is. I started working for SHIELD not too long ago, don't you remember. They have me stationed here in New York for now, you know assisting in whatever they need me to do. It's mostly driving though, but I don't particularly mind it." She flashed her smile at him in the mirror.

"Things have gotten quite exciting the past few weeks and I was just so caught up in it all I guess I forgot." Coulson said with his usual smile, but that wasn't something Maria had seen in seven years.

"Yeah I heard that something really exciting happened back at HQ but no one has filled me in. They seemed thrilled though. Was it project Homeland? Was that a success, did the search team find Captain-" Maria's escalating excitement halted when she saw Coulson's smile grow.

"No, Maria." He shook his head which only seemed to confuse her. "We found her. She's home now, in Dawson Memorial Hospital."

Maria stopped the car on the long road out of the airport and turned around to face him. "Wha-?" She was choking on her loss of words. Tears flooded the girl's eyes, "She's back?" Coulson simply nodded in response and patted her hand. "Is she okay? Where was she? Who took her?" Maria began to spout streams of questions at her long lost, but recently found, best friend's father.

"I'll tell you on the way to Brooksfields. I am actually going to meet someone there that can hopefully help us with this situation." He smiled once more at Maria before she turned around and began driving again.

It was 12:50 by the time Coulson arrived at the restaurant and he was hoping he wouldn't loose his voice after his non stop discussion with Maria on the way there. He sat at a table in the far right corner. He sat patiently, as an agent does, while he waited for the doctor to show up. Despite his cool exterior, Coulson began to worry as the time neared 1:15 and he had half the mind to call up the doctor until he saw the hostess point a man in his direction.

The man had a shy demeanor about him but not overly so. He had dark hair that started to show just hints of grey around his temples, he was wearing a deep purple button down with a pair of seeing glasses hooked on to its pocket, and black slacks. He stood around 5"9 and his pace was that of one who knows they are late but doesn't want to run to where they need to be. The man was slightly hesitant to approach the table, "Agent Coulson?"

"In this setting it would be preferred to drop the 'agent' part for now. Take a seat Dr. Banner." Coulson's voice was calm and his facial expression was neutral.

Banner nodded before pulling out the seat in front him, "I apologize for being so late, there was a coworker that needed my assistance with-"

"It's quite alright, Dr. Banner. The important thing is you showed up." Coulson's tone never changed in these kinds of meetings.

"Did you think that I would avoid it, especially after the phone call." Bruce gave a small, nervous laugh.

"No I knew you would show up," Coulson's expression made Banner more nervous. "Especially after the phone call."

Banner cleared his throat and looked away for a moment, "When you said that it wasn't _you're_ attempt to gain-"

"Dr. Banner considering the sensitive subject matter of the following discussion I ask that you never speak of this meeting with anyone, regardless of whether you agree to help or not." Coulson spoke blandly but with an air of authority.

Banner furrowed his eyebrows in concern, "What if I did?"

Coulson tilted his head ever so slightly, "Let's not concern ourselves with the hypotheticals, doctor. However, if you did, well then it is very within my power to make sure you are never heard from again. I think that you would like to hear what I have to say before you make any further mental accusations or assumptions, Don't you agree."

Banner looked Coulson up and down, slightly taken aback by what he had said. "You said that it concerns your daughter?" He spoke hesitantly.

Coulson gave a small nod, "Yes, it does. Now I need you to understand that since this is not a topic to discuss in detail in a public area, I am only going to give you the basis of it. It will be enough for you to make your decision, though I am asking you to say yes for my daughter's sake."

Bruce opened his mouth to question the man further but decided against it. "Alright."

"My daughter, was taken from me some years ago but we recently recovered her and she is now in a hospital recovering. While she was away the people that took her did what we discussed on the phone." Coulson waited a moment to see Banner's understanding, "She doesn't know the extent of which these- tests- worked. Her blood work showed enough toxic chemicals in her body to kill five fully grown men, yet she has physically recovered at an alarming rate considering the condition in which we found her. The doctors have tried to run tests on the chemicals in her body but nothing they have recorded is a match." Coulson leaned forward, placing his forearms on the table, "That's why we need you. Your understanding of science is virtually unprecedented. Hopefully with your knowledge you can help us better understand the mysteries of what they did to her."

Banner looked at the man in disbelief, "How quick has her recovery been?"

"She had four terribly broken ribs three weeks ago and now the hospital staff has reported finding her doing crunches before dawn."

The doctor's mouth went agape, trying to piece together in his mind what kind of testing would have caused such great recovery.

"Doctor," Coulson began, "I would never be able to thank you enough but if you are not convinced to help for the sake of me, the scientific possibilities to be discovered, or the princely funding that will be provided to your lab after this then please do it for her." There was a sincerity that Coulson had never shown before in a situation like this which Banner picked up on.

Bruce sat back in his chair, puzzled and troubled by the situation. He drew in a deep breath of thought before looking back at Coulson, "How old was your daughter when she was taken?"

Phil swallowed the pain, "She was ten years old." Bruce's eyes grew in the faint horror of that thought. "She is now seventeen." Phil briefly looked at his hands before making eye contact with Bruce.

A few moments of silence passed as Bruce soaked in the information. "Yeah," he began to nod lightly, "I'll help." The subtle joy climbed into Phil's eyes. "On the condition that you promise me that whatever I find will not be used to create a freak-show of defense."

Coulson rose to his feet and extended his hand across the table and Banner returned the action. "I sincerely thank you, doctor. Now if you would please follow me, we have to get back to D.C. by five o'clock." Coulson began to exit the restaurant.

"What about my job, I have to get back and-" Bruce quickly followed, stammering and all.

"That will all be taken care of." Phil got into the car with a nervous Dr. Banner following suit.

"Who is that?" Banner motioned to Maria in the driver's seat.

"That would be Agent Hill."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." She smiled at the title 'agent'.

Banner turned back to Coulson, "So the details about-"

"I will discuss that with you once we board the quinjet. It's a more secure location and will allow more space to display the files." Coulson pulled his phone out of his suit pocket. "Fury, I am on my way back. We have the help we need. Please have a lab prepared for us and make sure you find Peggy. She should be apart of this whole process." Coulson hung up the line. He was eager to get back and start out on getting the answers they all desperately wanted.

In light of all of his happiness, Coulson had yet to give thought of how these tests may further effect Jay. After all, she just spent seven years being a tied down lab rat and it would be safe to assume she wouldn't be pleased with enduring it again so soon.


	26. Jay meets Banner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, it took me over half a year, but I'm finally updating (with a chapter I wrote forever ago)

Jay had just shut her eyes to try and get a nap after Dr. Graceson's poor attempts to catch her up on the modern world. She had to know about the current events of the world when she was in the Fates, they were valuable for missions and it was one of the few things that kept her feeling even slightly human. Knowing that there was a normal world beyond the perimeter of the compound, beyond her reach, was some how comforting.

  
A soft knock came from her right, "Hello, darling." Peggy peaked in through the doorway holding a green bag. "Oh, I didn't mean to wake you. I'll just come back later when-"  
"It's alright," Jay gave a tired smile before sitting up in the bed.

  
Peggy gave a gracious nod and entered the room. Peggy hadn't visited her much because despite her undeniable strength she just couldn't find it in her to see Jay this way. She was afraid to find out how much of her had vanished, how much they ruined her bright spirit, it hurt her knowing that it all happened to Jay while she was still able to live a day to day life. Besides what would she say? Small talk was awkward and tedious and made Jay itchy.

  
"I had to guess your size for the pants and shoes," Peggy set the bag down on the foot of the bed, "I had a fairly good idea about the shirt though."

  
Jay cocked her head to the side, "Aren't I supposed to stay in the hospital clothes until I'm dismissed?"

  
Peggy had already sat down on the left side of the bed, "They are letting you come with us now." Her smile was so warm and kind, "You can come home."

  
Home was still a word that didn't feel right to Jay. Everything was moving faster than she expected, her whole world just twisted and morphed into something completely foreign. She was still expecting to be taken back to the Fates any day now, to be called Isabella, to go back to having no life but just an existence.

  
"Oh," Jay started uneasily, "home, right." A fake smiled hid her face, but not very well.

  
Peggy had a small frown, "I know that everything is different now but-"

  
Dr. Graceson opened the door with a wide smile on her face, "Great new, Jenavieve! You are being discharged today! You can get dressed while I finalize the paperwork." The doctor began to detach Jay from the machines next to the hospital bed, "Are these her clothes?" Peggy nodded as the doctor motioned to the green bag at Jay's feet.  
"Fantastic," she chimed again as she stepped back. "Go ahead and put them on and once you're done we will take you down to the lobby." Dr. Graceson gave another joyful nod to the both of them before leaving again.

  
Jay leaned forward and grabbed the bag as she swung her legs off the side of the bed. "I guess I should go ahead and get ready then," she lifted the bag and gave an uncomfortable shrug.

  
Peggy stood at the same time she did. How she had grown. Jay had gone from shoulder height when she had been taken to about a half an inch taller than her. "I'll be waiting here for you," her voice was small and slightly strained.

  
Jay went into the small bathroom attached to the room and locked the door. She didn't know how to feel or what to think. Her thoughts were going back and forth just like they had when she first woke up. Is this a dream or is this real? Jay let out a deep sigh before looking up into the mirror and the exhaustion she felt came through for a few moments but she shook her head, "Don't let them see how tired you are." She whispered to herself and wondered just how long her state of mind would remain that way. Always on guard, always ready to be attacked, always ready to never reveal a single thing. Jay slipped off her hospital gown and fished a sports bra and fresh pair of undergarments from the bag. Peggy must have gotten my size from the ones they found me in. She slipped on the dark blue jeans, forest green sweater, and black converse. Jay emerged from the bathroom with the bag in hand and the hospital gown draped over her arm.

  
Peggy turned from the window with a gentle smile, it was nice to see her in something other than that thin blue gown. "How do they fit?"

  
Jay nodded and glanced to the ground, "Fine. I guess the sizes from my uniform carried over." Peggy frowned again at the word 'uniform'.

  
"One day soon I could take you shopping if you'd like," Peggy stepped closer, wrapping her coat close. "You're father wanted to take you but he would probably try and stick you in something covered in butterflies." The two of them shared a laugh.

  
"Alright, if you two would please follow me down to the lobby you'll be free to go," Dr. Graceson appeared in the doorway again.   
"Here we are," Graceson stood next to the front desk. "Jenavieve, I know you may not like me very much and I understand why but it was a joy to have you as a patient."

  
_I was probably more of a headache, Lord know's you were._ "Thank you," Jay forced a smile knowing that her doctor could have been much worse. She was just glad all the tests were over and she would finally be able to breathe in non-sterilized air.

  
Agent Henley got out of the black SUV parked out front and strode inside. "Agent Carter, Jenavieve. We are ready to leave when ever you are."

  
The sight of him made Jay uneasy, he looked familiar. Jay knows she had seen him before but she couldn't recall when or where. She began to feel a mild shocking sensation spread over her skin.

  
"Jay, dear. Are you ready?"

  
Peggy's voice snapped her back into reality, "Uh- yeah." She nodded and began to make her way to the black SUV. Time to go 'home'.

  
The ride there was silent, Jay wasn't in the mood to speak. Conversation wore her out more than a day's worth of training. With talking she had to think, explain, and evaluate. They wanted her to remember and would ask her series of questions and share story after story. Trying to remember, trying to think of how to respond, trying to deal with it all was mentally tiring. Training, on the other hand, was completely different. That was strategy that came second nature. It was rapid, quick thinking. No remembering, no dwelling just action and reaction; and when she was focused enough there seemed to be no thinking at all. Like a machine serving it's purpose.

  
"Agent Henley, our turn off was back that way." Peggy tapped Justin on his shoulder.

  
"Agent Coulson gave me orders to take the two of you to HQ. He says that it's important."

  
Peggy quirked her eyebrow, "And what is it that's important?"

  
Henley put on the turn signal for the upcoming exit, "He didn't say, ma'am."

  
\---------

  
Dr. Banner walked about the large lab space, studying the room until he noticed a manila file placed on the examining table. "Are these her medical records," he looked at Coulson who remained in the doorway.

  
"The hospital just faxed all of them over about twenty minuets ago. Even her discharge papers are there." Phil glanced about the room, wondering if he had made the right choice. The sight of the examination tables, the tools, the machines made him realize that she had just been saved from all of this.

  
Banner opened the file and began to scan over Jay's medical history and reports. "Do you know if she still has problems with her asthma," he quirked his brow, barely looking up from the file.

  
"Considering I haven't seen her run a mile recently, no. But I imagine that it isn't a problem anymore because of," Coulson didn't finish his thought but Banner nodded in understanding.

  
Bruce continued to thumb through the file until something rather disturbing caught his eye. "Oh my God," his voice marveled quietly in horror when he reached a section of photos. They included her condition from when she arrived, the room they had found her in, the medical rooms from the compound and all of their equipment. The sight was gut wrenching to say the least. Banner's eyes flicked over them in a fit of dismay, "This is-. My God. How is she still alive?"

  
"That's what you're here for, " Coulson approached Banner, "a team managed to collect some samples of chemicals they found in their labs and medical rooms. They tested them earlier this morning and here are the results." Coulson handed Banner an army green folder with a red tab.

  
The already wide-eyed Banner put down the one folder and took the other. He flipped it open and adjusted his glasses. He mouthed words silently to himself and Coulson watch intently. Banner suddenly jerked his head back and furrowed his eyebrows. Coulson grew even more anxious when the doctor's mouth went agape. "Agent, I'm not sure if I will be able to go through with this." Banner quickly shut the folder and put it down on the table.

  
It was Coulson's turn for shock, "Doctor you made an agreement."

  
"I know I did, but-"

  
"You gave me your word that you would help her."

  
"Yes, I realize that-"

  
"I told you what this entailed and you agreed, you have to-"

  
"No, Agent, you didn't tell me what this entailed." Doctor Banner bit back. "I was not fully informed at all. You kept delaying this information until I got here because you knew that once I saw it I would refuse."

  
"Doctor-"

  
"Do you realize what this is going to do to her? What kind of stress this is going to put her under?" Banner faced Coulson in his growing anger.

  
"I understand the risks Dr. Banner but-"

  
"Oh really, because I don't think you do. The conditions they had her in, the condition of which you found her screams of life long PTSD! The very sight of this room could put her in a frenzy, some sort of panic! Her reaction could be fatal and depending on whether or not these people succeeded in their attempts we may not be able to control her no matter how many agents you have stationed outside the door!" Banner's face was turning red, he was infuriated by every single aspect of this situation. "You'll be lucky if she doesn't jump at the slightest noise or the faintest shadow for the rest of her life, and you decide to con me into coming here to put her through even more trauma. These tests could have waited until after she seeks mental help."

  
"Are you suggesting that my daughter-"

  
"I am not suggesting anything. It is obvious to anyone who even so much as skims through her file that she will need therapy and lots of it. No matter how resilient she is she can't just tough it out. She need's professional help." Banner chopped his hand gesture towards the papers.

  
Coulson clenched his jaw, trying his best to stay calm, "That's why I brought you here."

  
Banner squeezed his eyes shut and tensed every muscle in his body, "You're not listening to me! Your _daughter_ just went through something indescribable. She will need help from a _mental health professional_. It is impossible for her to not have some sort of psychological damage."

  
"I understand that, Doctor. I have already checked into every psychologist in this region of the US but please explain to me how she is supposed to sit down in a chair and recall and tell someone about _every damn thing_ those bastards did to her! She is already going to relive it everyday of her life but please do explain to me how she is supposed to vocalize it; the pain, the fear, the terror, the inhumane things they did to her to someone who never even dreamed that such atrocities were even possible. She would feel even more like a freak than she already does. Imagine the embarrassment, the alienation, the rage she must feel. I know that she will need help but I don't know of anyone qualified enough to deal with this! So please, for the love of God, if you know a way then you better tell me instead of scorn me for trying." Coulson was shaking with indignation as he tried to recompose himself. "I am trying my hardest to help _my_ daughter and until I find someone to help her psychologically I am going to seek out the one who may be able to help her physiologically. You. So don't you dare accuse me of being a bad parent. I already do that enough daily because how can a father let this happen to his daughter?"

  
A knock interrupted the boiling episode between the two men, "Agent Carter and Jay have entered the building, sir." Agent Wilkins awkwardly informed the two of them before taking post outside the door again.

  
Coulson inhaled deeply and exhaled sharply, "Just help my daughter, Banner. That's all I'm asking."

  
\-------------

  
Jay recognized the SHIELD Head Quarters from the photographs they made her study in the Fates. This place and it's agent's were considered one of the top threats to their organization and now she knows why.

  
Both Jay and Peggy continued to follow Agent Henley through out the Triskelion. Out of habit Jay memorized every turn they took, whether they went up or down, and distinguishable things along the way.

  
"Room C 49." Henley held open one of the double glass doors to a hallway on one of the lower floors.

  
The two continued on, Jay following just behind Peggy but standing just as tall and as tense as always. Something didn't feel right to her.

  
Agent Wilkins saw the women making their way down the hall towards the lab and called to Coulson who was pacing just outside the room door.

  
"Coulson, what on earth are we doing here?" Peggy laughed at this wild goose chase.

  
Coulson flicked his eyes between Peggy and Jay and cleared his throat. _She grew up so fast_. "The meeting I had earlier today was with someone I think may be able to help."

  
"Help with what?" Jay spoke up for the first time since leaving the hospital.

  
Phil shifted his weight, "Back in the hospital you told me and Dr. Graceson that when you were there they conducted genetic experimentation." Jay squared her shoulders tightly and arched her brow. "You also said that they had appeared to not work but you didn't know how much of it was effective. So I found someone who may be able to help with that. He could possibly observe you and your charts and tell us what exactly they did to you."

  
Peggy crossed her arms, "Who did you find?"

  
"His name is Dr. Bruce Banner."

  
"No," Jay spoke pointedly which took both Peggy and Coulson by surprise. "I'm done with doctors and tests."

  
"Jay, honey, he could let us know more about what happened. What kind of changes your body went through," Coulson was confused at her lack of curiosity but understood why she objected the process.

  
"I don't care. I'm tired. I'm tired of being tested on." Jay's stance and tone was defensive.

  
Coulson motioned towards the room,"It's possible that he could be able to tell us what we need to know just by looking at your files."

  
"You're lying." Jay's voice was level and matter-of-fact. "To know how it changed me he would either have to observe me naturally and since there is no clear point as to where to start he would have to run some sort of test." By now Banner had emerged from the lab wondering what was taking so long. "One of those tests would be a DNA test which was conducted at the hospital but not effectively considering they had no clue what was in me. It's possible that he would gather something from those results but sometimes paper can lie; plus to know just how effective the genetic experimentation was there would need to be more testing. One type could be a field test where he puts me in situation relating to something he found in the DNA results. The other being a new form that hasn't been approved in any country and that would be the EDEN: Evaluating DNA by Electro-activating Neurons. That's the scientific sugar coated way of saying 'we are going to electrocute the shit out of you and see if we can get a reading on the machines that is if the facility can spare that amperage and you can survive it'."

  
"You seem to know a lot," Banner stepped forward with a genuine smile on his face.

  
Jay looked him over with a cold stare, "I had to know a lot of things."

  
Bruce smiled despite her glare, "There is actually another test that has just been developed fairly recently. It's still in it's early stages so it's not widely used or known. They call it the ESTAGE: Electronic Simulation Through Acquiring Genetic Emissions. What this test does is it takes a blood sample and puts it in the reactive chamber where it then takes the reacting emissions from your body that are obtained through stick on signal adhesives that react, record, and simulate how your body would react to certain tests and or chemicals. It's main usage is for cancer patients that are looking to undergo chemotherapy to see if they are strong enough, however, if I am correct it could help us in this situation."

  
Everyone that had gathered seemed to understand at least the basis of what Dr. Banner had just said, expect Agent Wilkins who stood at their post gawking from afar.

  
"How recent was this development?" Coulson tilted his head towards Banner.

  
"About a month or so ago it was shared within the scientific community. The process leading up to it has been years, just like everything else." Bruce shifted his attention back to Jay, "I am aware of the strong opposition you most likely hold to medical testing, rooms, and persons and if you are dead set against this I am not going to force anything of you. In the end it is your decision, not your father's. You went through everything, no one else, therefore you decide." Bruce's gentleness and allowance of autonomy made Jay relax ever so slightly.

  
Jay inhaled, examining the man in front of her. He seemed honest, reserved, and sincere. "Do you think that this test could work?"

  
"I think it has the potential too, yes." He noticed her caution and the subtle fear in her eyes which wounded his heart a bit. "I'm not going to lie to you, Jay. I'm here to help you but only if you want it."

  
Jay stood still with her eyes fixed just behind Dr. Banner's shoulder as she weighed the pros and cons. She was right when she said she was tired of all the tests, she was tired of the pain they brought and the memories they caused. She had a strong sense of character, it was something she excelled at in the Fates. It was the key to knowing your allies and enemies. The compass could point someone a clear north or south but sometimes those people, people trained to deceive, could lye in between. The needle of that compass pointed Banner north. 


End file.
